Playing Catch Up

Tomorrow we leave for a bit of a trip.  First, we're off to see our China friends (families we traveled with to China when we adopted Grace).  It'll be great--we love these families!  And, we're staying at a hotel.  With waterslides and a splash pad.

Then, we're staying in Gypsy Wagon outside of a castle.  But, there's heat.  And, it's a B&B, so it comes with a great breakfast.  And a private bathroom.

And, then, we're staying in a tipi.  On the ground.  Without even a toilet.  I'm not sure Bret knows about that last part, so I thought I should post a couple pictures and updates, just in case I end up dead left in the forest, you'll have some recent pictures until I return.

Grant
Grant continues to LOVE kindergarten.  I went for his parent-teacher conference tonight, and nothing came as a shock.  Grant is an exceptional reader (they want kids to exit kindergarten at a level C; Grant is already at a level I), but the drawing and coloring skills are so, so, SOOOOO weak.  They try to encourage story telling through drawing, as most kids aren't ready to write entire paragraphs, and you almost can't even tell what anything is on the page!  It looks like a bunch of crazy scribbling.  He has some really weak fine motor skills (and has to get some extra help in that area), so it's hard to know if these fine motor skills are the contributing factor to these pictures... or a bit of laziness (which Grant suffers from plenty).  But, he's expertly behaved, a fine little mathematician, and kind to his friends, so I think we're doing okay.

Just recently, he came home with an assignment based on the book Officer Buckle and Gloria, a book we have at home too (thanks, Kathy... I can read this book in my sleep).  The assignment was to write or to draw a family rule.  I asked Grant what others put on their paper.  He told me that many kids wrote about bike helmets, brushing teeth or washing hands.  Grant's paper read: Stay clear of sigarets (cigarettes).  He cracks me up!

Oh, and in case you didn't know, Grant is a tad bit near-sighted and sports these new specs!


Grace
Grace--is without question--the most helpful child God ever created.  She loves to help.  She will do anything I ask her to do, with a smile on her face, and a "I'd be glad to do that for you, Mommy" comment on the way.  I couldn't be more spoiled by such a hard worker, and my days will get infinitely more difficult when she heads off to kindergarten next year.

Grace loves preschool, and she is sooooo confident now that it's hard to believe.  She loves to talk to strangers, to run tasks for me all over town, and she does it all with seldom a whine!  She's something special, that one.  She spends most of her day coloring, painting, taping, cutting and doing other crafts.  She almost never plays with toys, as she's just too busy being crafty.  She self entertains for hours (the sheer opposite of Grant), and I almost feel guilty that I don't "plan" more for her to do!

She draws the cutest things (doors that walk, octopuses that juggle, and unlike her brother, I can tell what every single one of them is... well, okay, the door that was walking was tricky... because it looked--well, like a door walking).

Here are some pics of Grace from this mornings pumpkin patch field trip (it was soooooo cold that I wanted to cry, but I thought that made me look pretty weak in front of four-year-olds, so I held in the sobs).

Trent
Trent is one fussy baby--except for his mama, who he adores.  He's finally warming up to daddy, but everyone else in the known world can "take a hike" (and he'll give you the look to prove it).  He's the only child of mine where I am regularly greeted at the door to his childcare room (at church or BSF) with the "he had a rough morning" speech.  But, for me, he's pretty easy.  He just went to the doctor on Monday, and he's officially short, fat and big headed (percentiles: 34%, 65% and 80%, respectively).  But, he makes up for it all by being really cute and pretty darn sweet!

He has no tricks yet, and I think he's going to be slow to master the gross motor skills (sitting, rolling, crawling) like his big brother.  He loves his jumpy thing and exersaucer for a bit (not long enough... ), and he seems to enjoy being outside more than anything... yeah for that!

Recently, we've started heading to a local nursing home to visit residents there.  My parents have been great about this for years--often with the kids tagging along--, and I've been looking for a service that my kids can do now, not when they're all grown up, that will teach them to care for others.  And, they are simply amazing, even with the memory patients who ask the same question 15 times.  The kids are so patient, so loving, so thoughtful, and I get teary to watch them bring such joy to these people (or "old people," as the kids call them).  I have prayed that God would make my kids' hearts soft for the forgotten people of this world--and now, once a week, we all get a chance to put that into practice!!  Here is a picture of Trent making Eddy's week (maybe her month--she LOVES babies), followed by a picture of Grant doing the same... even when he was a baby (he already has five years of serving these people under his belt!).

 

Okay, that'll have to do for a bit.  We're going to be out of commission for a bit.  The places we are going don't even have cell service (haven't told that one to Bret either), but we'll make sure to post pictures and updates upon return!!!

Tired Baby

Grant LOVES kindergarten, but Mama's not so sure!  My baby is sooooo tired ALL the time!  But, we're adjusting, slowly... Grant was picked as the Student Ambassador for his class, and he told me he was selected, he thinks, because he likes to help people.  So sweet!

Here's a recent pic of Grant: all smiles on this particular morning!

I'll post more soon, but I am sooooooooo tired (maybe it runs in the family!)....

Banner Weekend

1. Yesterday went to the pistol range.  Dinner=great Chinese in Fountain Square.  Great start to the weekend!

2. Our fourth annual Chinese Festival today.  Dinner=great Mexican in Fountain Square.  Can't say enough about how much I love Fountain Square!

3. Worship tomorrow at the best church ever.  So excited!

Grace at her first Indianapolis Chinese Festival about a month after she was home with us!

Does it get better?  Trent says it does: eating cereal is WAY better than bottles...

Plotting

Daddy's asleep.  The older crazies are watching TV downstairs.  And my Mommy is in the office making unchangeable reservations that include staying in a castle and a tipi.  Someone might want to stop her before she has gone too far...  

Too late (I think she just typed "off road ATV tours").... yikes!

A Few More Pics

What a blast the kids had being a part of Kate and Clint's wedding!  They loved it!  

Here is Grant doing Ninja moves... because that's what you do in a tux...

Grace finally stopped long enough to grab a decent pic!

Coming down the aisle (my favorite pic of the day!)

The recessional.  Couldn't be cuter!

A tired girl on the way to the reception (or as Grant called it, "The place we get food").

Trent spent his first two nights away from Mommy for the occasion.  The Christmas jammies: well, he's almost out of 6-9 month clothes... so I had to go digging in my tub for 9-12 months...  little bruiser!

A great weekend!

The kiddos at Kate's wedding

Official, Official`

So thankful... 

The Joys of an Older Sister

This is how I found Trent this afternoon!  At least Grace didn't break out the nail polish, make-up or glitter hairspray.  That would have been difficult to explain to the judge tomorrow!

My Morning Cleaning Partner

Snow White showed up this morning to help me clean... complete with high heels!

All is Quiet

Today, I dropped Grace off at her first day of preschool for the year (she did JR. Pre-K last year, so she's quite big stuff now--in her estimation--that she's in Pre-K).  She was--per her standard--courteous, independent, and excited.  I guess it helped that she was the snack person today (didn't know THAT detail until I arrived), which means she's the special helper all day--a task Grace takes a little too seriously.

But, that leaves a napping Trent and Mommy until 11:30.  What's a girl to do?  Clean the house?  I should.  Paint the office?  I really should.  I'm going to settle for bake some cookies and drink a long cup of coffee while watching something on HGTV.  Every girl deserves a moment!

Like father, like son

Glad my kids have such a great guy as a role model--even on lazy Saturday afternoons.

Hanging Out

With Grant at school, mornings are quiet these days.  Trent hangs out with Grace and me for about two hours before heading off to nap.  Grace and I spend the morning "doing preschool pages," cleaning up, cooking, and crafting.  Today we cleaned up the deck, and Trent brought his super smile!

And, here is Trent doing tummy time, which isn't blog worthy except for the fact that I took pictures of Grant doing tummy time at the exact same age.  I think Trent has Grant schooled on the neck strength!

Independence

A while ago, I read a book that really challenged me when it came to my parenting: Free Range Kids.  I can't say that I agreed with all of the book, but it did make me consider some pretty ingrained tenants I had about raising kids.  The basic concept is this: kids used to be allowed to do a great deal for themselves (imagine riding bikes with the neighborhood kids to the pool or walking home by yourself from school for lunch), but we have, because of the incorrect perception that they are not safe, started holding our kids hands through much of life. And, I walked away from the book promising myself that Grant and Grace (and now Trent) would have the opportunity to become wonderfully independent.  I've always told myself that every day they are with me is one day closer to the day that they won't be with me... and I need to prepare them and prepare them well.

So, I do things I'm not sure other parents do (I say this because I often get some pretty bad looks).  I let my kids take the stairs while I take the elevator.  I let them play in my un-fenced backyard without me outside. I send Grant into the post office to buy stamps, into the pharmacy to pick up pictures, into school to pick up forms, and I make my kids order their own food when dining out (if you don't order it, you don't eat it: that's my motto).  Essentially, I lose sight of my kids--on purpose--a lot.

And all of that preparation makes today quite significant for both of them.

First off, it's Grant's first day of kindergarten.  From this day forward, he will never be without an obligation in life.  He will begin to understand what work is (as life isn't all play, after all).  He'll begin to transition from home being the sole place of his universe.  And, this morning, he was more than ready: all smiles... never looking back... able to handle anything that came his way.

And, Grace, for whom today marks the third year of her arrival in our arms, is also quite independent.  I'm not sure I would have guessed that our timid toddler would become so insanely capable of navigating life all on her own.  She, too, runs errands, at just over four years old!  She, too, talks to anybody, uses manners with fierce commitment to them, and told me today that I don't even need to walk in the preschool building in a few weeks when she starts (how did the "you can drop me at the corner" start so early).

It all makes this mommy a little teary.  They are growing up so fast, and they need me less and less.  But, that's good: because this mama ain't raising her kids to live in the basement playing video games when they are 26!

Medal Standings

The Olympics have the kids pretty jazzed, and because of the brutal combination of hubris and lack of life experience to suggest otherwise, Grant and Grace think they can do every sport better and faster than the competing Olympians.

But, just this morning, I heard Grant commentating a new event.  There was a play-by-play, ending with him declaring Grace the gold medalist (in a stunning show of generosity on his part--he took the silver) in light saber dueling.

Watch out, 2024!

Just because...

                                          

He might not be the world's best sleeper (hopefully, when the kids start school, Trent will be able to settle into a routine), but he sure is super cute!  He babbles constantly, is FINALLY okay with being put down for a bit (that was a long three months), and loves tummy time (prefers it, really).  He has rolled over some, but not with any consistency, and his tummy issues persist (despite five different formulas).  He's generally very happy, and we're counting down the days until our adoption is finalized (August 23).  He has a LOT of personality (so, he should fit right in), and he has his favorite people (momma tops the list, thankfully).  Grant and Grace still adore him, and they are great helpers, for which I am grateful!  

He's pretty darn cute and pretty darn sweet, and we're thankful... pretty darn thankful.  

The Marrying Type

It's no secret that Grant has always had a bit of fondness for the ladies.  He used to flirt with waitresses (usually blonde) before he was two (often successfully... as the waitress would ask if she "could take him home.").  He carried around his princesses during the twos, and he had a strange fascination thing for Wonder Woman during the threes.  But, nothing has compared to Grant's first real love, a girl he met in BSF named Mikayla.

If you don't remember your first love, I get how you might be skeptical.  But, this is no joke.  Grant loves her with as much as a five-year-old boy can understand love.  He thinks about her, talks about her (boy, does he talk about her), dreams about her, and even plans the demise of any other potential suitors.  And, Mikayla loves Grant.  This love has prompted Grant to ask--over the last year--all about marriage.  How do people get married?  Why do they get married?  And, so we've explained as much as we can: from the asking of a blessing from fathers to finding someone who loves Jesus.

Recently, we were invited to spend the day with Mikayla and family at a nearby lake, and, as you can imagine, Grant was ecstatic.  He talked about it for days.  On the morning of, he asked who would be attending, and I listed the usual cast of characters including Mikayla, her brothers, her mother, and her father.   Grant has never met Mikayla's dad, and when I mentioned that he would be there, Grant broke out sobbing.

After calming him down, I asked Grant what was wrong.  He told me he was crying because he was scared... he thought he had to ask Mikayla's dad if he could marry Mikayla that very day, and the thought of making his intentions known and asking for her hand in marriage had rocked Grant to his core.

In the end, I explained to Grant that he could get married sometime after med school (just kidding--I couldn't care less what Grant decides to do), and he talked me down to 19.  I think he's relieved that it's 19 and not 5!  And, in the end, I think Mikayla's dad is more than okay with knowing his little girl isn't spoken for just yet!


Ultimately, I'm also endeared to know that Grant loves such quality girls.  Mikayla is sweet, kind, smart, nurturing, funny and loves Jesus.  She's all a future mother-in-law could hope for... 

The Norm

This morning, I tied a two week old helium balloon to Trent's wrist, and he was so enamored that he babbled endlessly.  Of course, soon as the camera came out, he stopped... but also, we were invaded by the two olders... which goes to show how and why Trent will NEVER have his own video footage or have a moment to himself.  Also, I kept filming the sibling argument... or how and why Mommy Trent will need therapy.

Grace turns 4!

A few weeks ago, Grace turned 4.  It was kind of crazy because her birthday and her "big," luau birthday party were separated by weeks, so it was kind of stalled, but we still celebrated in style.  On her actual bday, she picked a restaurant of choice (the blasted Mayberry Cafe, where they make a big birthday deal of you and kids get a toy... oh, well that the food is beyond mediocre).   Then, it was presents, more cake (and, yes, that is Chewbacca on her chocolate cake... the girl has a SUPER STRANGE fascination with the wookie) and lots of pictures.

Then, almost two weeks later (ah, the scheduling conflicts!), we had another bday bash for the girl!  Nothing like celebrating your bday for weeks.  She loved the presents, the family, and her strawberry cake (thanks, Aunt Barb, for that one!).

The next day, she had to try out her new helmet!

It's hard to believe that the little baby they handed me almost three years ago is the same super confident, super quirky, super sweet little girl today.  We're so thankful for our Wei Wei.  She makes the whole world--much less our little corner of it--so much brighter!

Trent Love

The road to Trent was not an easy one.  I still think about Nadia every single day, and despite what people might think, having Trent doesn't make the Nadia pain go away.  I realize that had we not lost Nadia, Trent would not be here... but, in the end, I want them both.  So, while having Trent does not make the loss of Nadia go away, it does bring it full circle and has shown us the amazing love and provision God has for us.

In Indiana, there is something called the putative father registry, and birth fathers can register with the Department of Health to say that "that's my baby, and I want him back."  Now, Trent's named birth father signed before he was born, and his birthmom signed upon exiting the hospital.  This situation, in the domestic adoption world, is as good as it gets.  However, I was plagued with unbelievable fear that the birth father who signed might not be the birth father.  What if there was someone else?  What if the birthmom had a secret fling and never disclosed it?  What if someone wanted to take love-of-my-life-Trent-David away from us?   Birth fathers have thirty days to claim these rights, and even though it looked picture perfect, because of the Nadia situation and all the deceit we encountered there, I struggled to believe that we'd get to keep Trent.  I struggled to call him "my son," and I often told Grant and Grace to "go help the baby" not "go see what's wrong with your brother."

The thirty days were an eternity.  And then, it took even longer because of "day 30" being on a weekend and the Memorial Day holiday.  I pestered our lawyer.  I prayed like mad.  I cried.  But, early on in the process, I had found this verse, and I felt like David penned it for me eons ago.  It's like it was written just for me, and when the waves of anxiety and fear came, I would cling to this verse from Psalms 10:

But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.

Could anything have spoken more to my situation?  I felt afflicted.  I had grief.  I felt like a victim, at times.  Our situation concerned the fatherless.  Three things stuck out above all else, though: 1. It is God, first, who has taken up the cause of the fatherless; I'm just coming in to help.  2. Committing myself to Him was the answer for my anxiety.  3. (and this was the biggest): The image of God taking my grief in hand was the most powerful image of dealing with my grief that I had yet to encounter.  It conjured images of totality, of an attempted ease, of unburdening.

Still, I couldn't be more excited for the day to come to hear that no one had claimed Trent.  And when did our attorney hear the news back from the Health Department... on Nadia's first birthday!  I knew, at that moment, that all the waiting, all the pain, had been so God could say, "See, I've got this--too--under complete control."

I am so thankful for Trent.  So very, very, very thankful.  He is not an easy baby, but he's an absolute dream, and we couldn't be more thankful.  No, really, this isn't a baby we take for granted--we couldn't be more thankful.

So, as for Trent's adoption, we finalize in court at the end of August; we're so happy to be a family of 5... so grateful.  

Not all frowns...