Pics

Some recent pics...

Nadia with her cousin Natalie, who is two weeks older but over two pounds smaller!

Grant and Grace hanging out at the Children's Museum! There was a new Dora and Diego exhibit. Grace--a huge Dora fan--was in heaven!

Hanging out at the splash park in Avon! Thankful to have a new hangout on a hot day.

Little Nadia sleeps... just not quite when I want her to do so.

Grant and Grace LOVE Nadia. Grant has a special place in his heart for her, and I often catch him just sitting with her. As he says, she often gives him the "love eyes."




This Friday is the big day when we will find out if we are one step closer to making Nadia Marie part of our forever family!

Leaks

One of the joys of owning a home built 45 years ago is discovering all of the quirks and intricacies of the house. Or in other words, figuring out where it leaks.

Interestingly, this is also true of a new baby. (Although in Nadia's case, it's not so much the "where" as it is "when" and "on whom.")

Last night, Erin began giving the kids a bath in our upstairs bathroom. While she went about her business of filling the tub and stripping down the tots, I was directly below her in the utility room doing laundry. As she began running the water in the tub, I began to get wet.

I looked above me to see a steady stream of water coming through the ceiling. Nicht gut.

As it turns out, the valve that is supposed to divert water from the tub up to the shower head has instead decided to take a different path in life. If you don't divert the water to the shower, it dumps half of the water into the tub and the other half on the guy doing laundry. It's a laugh a minute.

So I have a call in to a plumber this morning to tackle the handful of minor plumbing projects that need to be done on the house. I'll feel better once we get the plumbing work finished. I'm fine to tear things up, but when it comes to plumbing, it seems like if you jack it up, it will turn on you and slowly destroy you and all of your stuff.

Now that I said it like that, it seems like there are some more parallels between plumbing and children than I originally thought.

Introducing...

for the second time...
Nadia Marie (birthmom's middle name)

The Name Game

Yesterday was tough stuff. But, it ended well, and I think that's a good thing. Our birthmom is young (16) and shy, and it's been hard to kind of crack her shell, but I think I was able to do it last night as we sat around in her room watching TV and laughing. We talked about everything: from what I love about Bret (a long list) to foods I don't like (a short list).

And, then, she said it: Can we talk about the name thing? We had yet to name the baby as there has been some resistance. She admitted that she hated the name Naomi. And she said that while she thought it was special to have her first name as the baby's middle name, she didn't like that either.

Now, right now, that baby is her baby. She could name it the craziest of names because it is her choice. And, it's our prerogative to change it later at finalization if we want. But, here's the tricky part: we'd rather not have to change the name. Because, at the end of the day, our relationship with our birthmom is super important to us. And that's the beauty of domestic adoptions.

With Grant's adoption, his birthmom was a little older, a little less concerned about the name, a little more aware of the "end game," so to speak. But our birthmom REALLY cares about the name. It has been her biggest issue all along, and for months we have been dancing around the fact that she didn't like our selection.

And, to be honest, I was having some reservations about it myself. I LOVE the name Naomi. LOVE IT. But, every time I looked at that sweet baby, I'd think, "Is that right?" And, I never had those questions with Grant and Grace.

So, here it is the day we get discharged, and it will be--by all accounts--a hard day. It will be one of the most emotional days of our lives and for our birthmom as well. And, while we still don't have a name, we are getting really close. And, the birthmom is trying so hard to find one that works for all of us, as opposed to some of the more "unique" ones she had decided on long ago.

And, at the end of the day, what does it really matter? We're getting the greatest of gifts from this young girl, a girl we have come to love.

I'm so grateful for all my kids birth parents and foster parents. I'm thankful that they braved the hard road of pregnancy, filled with uncertainty. I'm thankful beyond measure that I get awesome responsibility and privilege to raise their children. These kids are twiced-loved, and their birth parents are heroic to me.

So, avid fan base (I know there is a least a grandparent or two out there), we'll let you know the whole new name soon...

The Hard Part

These few days are the hardest part of domestic adoption for Bret and for me. We sit in the hospital, often without a baby to hold, feeling isolated and alone. Don't get me wrong, it's a short wait for a great gain, but there is no denying that these days are hard. They are filled with anxiety and stress as we try to manage our relationship to our new love and the birthmom, who is often a pile of hormones and emotions as she gets ready for the hardest decision of her life. We don't doubt that her time is harder, but there is also no denying that these days here are tough stuff for us.

Add to the fact that Grant is coming unglued at the hinges at home, sobbing as he talks to me. I just want to be home with all my babies in one place.

We still expect that this adoption will work, but we have about a two week period while at home to wait...

But, while we wait, we hold on to the fact that our God is the giver of good gifts and has a plan for us that is perfect. We try--often on a moment by moment basis--to choose faith over fear.

And, we marvel at the amazing bundle of goodness we do get to love...

Introducing...

We are simply over the moon to announce the arrival of our daughter...


Naomi Sierra
born: 7:17pm, 6-4-2011
8lbs, 4oz and 21" long

Isn't she just beautiful??

The Waiting Game

Thursday afternoon, Erin and I dropped the kids off with the grandparents and boarded a last minute flight to Providence, RI. The baby is scheduled to come, one way or another, this morning (Saturday), so we wanted to be sure to be here for the big event.

We arrived late Thursday night and stayed at a hotel adjacent to the airport. We've never been in Providence, so we decided that on Friday, we would get in touch with our birth mom, and then perhaps spend a little time sightseeing.

Friday morning we got up and had breakfast at the Sunrise Cafe in Warwick. It was my kind of place. Low key. They managed to incorporate pizza ingredients and every pepper imaginable into various omelets. It was excellent.

After breakfast, we made our way up to the campus of Brown University and wandered around. Our birth mom called Erin around 11am to let us know that she was up and wanted to meetup (for the 1st time) for lunch. Erin and the birth mom have communicated primarily through texting, so an exchange to say "I'm up," "let's meet," and "see you in 30" took Erin approximately 3000 button presses and over an hour. The students we passed while walking around Brown were no doubt impressed that my wife had used her obvious technical talents to keep such an antiquated cell phone in working order.

We picked up birth mom and headed for lunch at Micheletti's in Seekonk, MA. As we approached the door to this quaint little diner, we encountered a sign announcing that the restaurant was cash only. This appears to be a growing trend in the northeast, as we've encountered it multiple times on this trip. I left the ladies and headed out in search of an ATM.

I walked across the street to a gas station and asked the attendant if they had an ATM. "Sure do. It's over there." I walked over to an ATM with a dark screen. I pushed buttons, swiped cards, but nothing. I walked back to the counter. "If the screen is dark, does that mean the ATM doesn't work?" The lady acted like my question was a crazy one and said -- "Yep, the ATM don't work." Generally there is an implication when a customer asks if you have an ATM that the ATM be functional. Gas station customers aren't usually looking for ATM parts or operating an ATM salvage company.

I ended up driving to another grocery store AND a pharmacy before I found a functional ATM. Apparently "Seekonk" is an ancient Indian word for "busted ATM." After loading up some cash, I headed back to Micheletti's for lunch. We had a very nice conversation with our birth mom, and Erin and I both felt like the relationship was going very well. I have found in these situations that my best approach is to say as little as possible, without seeming weird. The chances of something offensive escaping the corners of my mouth is simply too high in such a risk laden situation.

After lunch, we dropped birth mom off at her house, and Erin and I went out in search of a hotel. We landed nearby at a Holiday Inn Express.

Last night, desperately in need of some relaxation, Erin and I went first went for Japanese food at Tenchi Sushi. We both had great food, and it was nice to just sit and reflect on everything without having to keep Grant and Grace (who we dearly miss) from killing each other.

After dinner we saw "Bridesmaids." I think Kristen Wiig is generally pretty funny, and this movie was no exception. The theater was packed, and we actually missed a lot of the dialog because of prolonged laughter. It was just what we needed. One scene had Erin laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe. It's rare for something other than me to create a scenario where Erin can't breathe, for whatever reason, so it was nice to see her relax a little bit.

So this morning we're just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the action to start. Our birth mom is doing just fine, and everyone is just waiting for the main event. I can't really imagine what she's going through, as these two people she just met face to face for the first time yesterday, stand anxiously at the foot of her bed with catcher's masks on. I plan to simply go where I'm told for the rest of the morning. I suspect I will act as the food runner for the rest of the day, and that's fine with me.

Leaving on a jet plane

...taking off for Providence tonight. Baby comes on Saturday or before.

Backyard Fun

Nothing like spending money you shouldn't have to...

Here is the guy digging out our septic tank under the deck... ah, fixing someone else's mistakes=no fun!

People You Know

The other night, I ate too much spicy food, couldn't sleep, and laid awake thinking about people I know who are in prison. That's right -- the slammer.

Erin and I had a conversation over coffee the next morning about the murderers who've passed through my life. At first, she didn't believe me, but I was able to quickly locate details on the web regarding several cases from my childhood involving people I knew offing other people. Some using household appliances.

This also got me to thinking about my Great Uncle Emmett. We all thought Uncle Emmett lived in some pretty tough neighborhoods as a youth. We'd sit around at holidays, listening in rapt attention to his tales of people with nicknames like Bug Legs and Roughhead, occasionally accomplices in various punishable offenses. We'd laugh and laugh as he'd move from one story about a guy in a knife fight to another story about a guy getting buried alive. Then we'd stand up, stretch, and go for more ham loaf.

At the time, I thought Uncle Emmett either grew up across the street from a leaky chemical plant or he was off his freaking rocker. But now that I think about it, his stories don't seem so far fetched. In my own relatively safe suburban upbringing, I knew several felons. In one case, a guy we knew in high school, and occasionally scuffled with, ended up murdering his own mother. Take that, Bug Legs.

I don't know what any of this really means or what it says about my upbringing. But I do feel better knowing that I'll have my own supply of stories to build on at holidays when I'm 80, just after we've polished off our traditional holiday chicken fingers and a slice of pie.

Pregnancy

I don't know what women who have bio babies feel like before the big day. Is each twinge a possibility? Is there an insane need to get things in order? Do they pack their hospital bags again and again?

We are in a strange and stressful time. We have yet to move into our house (any day now), can't find the hardware to set up the crib (but did find the pack-n-play; any bets on if we ever set up the crib?), and every single phone call feels like "the one." We have our bags packed (mostly), childcare set up, and know every possible air, car and train route to Attleboro, MA.

Last night, Grace woke up having to use the restroom, and when I fell back into bed, I was wide awake (my least favorite thing at 3 am), and soon, my mind had raced beyond my suitcase and magazines I could pick up for the birthmom to willing the phone to ring. I literally tried good ol' mind control for at least ten minutes. But the phone didn't ring.

It rang a few times this morning, each of which brings hopeful runs to pick it up before the machine gets it. And each time, it was Bret, talking to me about septic tanks, gas lines and some other nonsense about the house. I told him: no more phone calls. Unless it's good news. And good news--at this point--is a baby.

We are over the moon to hold our little one, to meet our birthmom (finally) after weeks of phone calls and texts, and to begin life as a family of 5. Now, if only we could settle on a name...

Scared Stiff

Grant called me to his room last night, screaming that he was scared.

Mommy: Grant, what's wrong?
Grant: I am scared.
Mommy: Of what? Everything is fine.
Grant: I am afraid that my brain has been switched, and I think I have the wrong brain.

How do you comfort your scared, and potentially crazy, child?

Updates

1. Congrats go to Bret's sister and brother-in-law as they welcome beautiful Natalie Reese into the world. She is so beautiful. We got to see them for a bit at the hospital last night, and we were simply amazed at how alert little Natalie was. She was so small too! We're excited that baby #3 will have a cousin so close in age!

2. We've owned the new house for less than a week, and we are already seeing big improvements. We've taken up 80% of the nasty carpets, pulled down wallpaper, taken down all the window fixtures, painted two ceilings, painted two rooms, and unpacked a handful of boxes. Here is a before picture of one of the rooms; we'll get you some after pictures soon. We had hoped to put all of our extra money toward renovations inside the house, but it looks like we might have to walk around on cement and subfloor for a bit, as we are having to tackle more outside work than we had hoped! Nothing like having your septic tank under your deck! Argh.

3. Baby #3. We continue the countdown to baby 3 (less than 3 weeks). The relationship with the birthmom continues to go well, and we are so excited to be parents to this little girl. There are some small hiccups in the legal end of it all, which leaves us with a bit more risk than we'd like, but we are confidant that the birthmom is steady in her choice.

As far as names, we continue to narrow the list. We know the baby's middle name will be Sierra, as that is her birthmom's name. Sierra is a very beautiful name, but it isn't the easiest to match with a first name. Several names that were early forerunners are falling behind (I hate to say goodbye to Eve, but I think Bret has put the nail in the coffin on that one for now). If you have any ideas, don't hesitate.

We will pack our bags this weekend, as we expect a "get your butts to Massachusetts now" phone call at any point. Now, if only I could find a suitcase and some clothes (not to mention baby things) in all of this mess!

New House

Well, we just closed on the house this morning. Now, off to rip up the nasty carpets this afternoon. Let's keep our fingers crossed that there are more hardwoods than we think! We plan on providing pictures every step of the way, more for our lack of memory than anything else, but you're welcome to join us for our very own home makeover.

Table Saw

If you have a table saw we can borrow, please let us know. We need to tackle new wood floors in the next few weeks, and I'd rather borrow than buy. We'd need the table saw around the end of the month... and for a few weeks. It'll come back to you clean and with a dinner gift card attached :).

Let us know.

Grave Digger

Our latest free outing: The Grave Digger Experience (some monster truck thingy) complete with pictures, tatoos (they promised they were temporary, but Grant still has his) and much more. The next post we'll have to write about our almost free weekend getaway, complete with pictures from the National Museum of the Air Force.

Packing and Moving

Let me just say this: I HATE MOVING. I don't kind of dislike it. I don't think it kind of stinks. I hate it. It's a rung in hell in Dante's Inferno; I'm sure the translators just missed it.

We are close the end, and the proverbial light at the end of that blasted tunnel is starting to show itself. We'll be out of our house by tonight, and then, we'll have glorious bliss for 15 days until we close on the new house May 13, in which the whole cleaning, painting, moving cycle will begin again, but add to it the mounted pressure of putting in new floors, new bathrooms, a new kitchen, and dealing with what feels like miles of awful wood paneling (not a pessimist... just a realist).

Only to compound issues is the fact that the kids are sick and are expected to hang out in an empty house and watch me clean and pack for what amounts to hours a day. No furniture. No TV. Too rainy to go outside. Today I caught them playing--in an empty closet--with hangers and different parts of the vacuum. A kid has got to do what a kid has got to do.

Here are a few recent pics...

Coloring Easter Eggs

Swim lessons


Grace dressed for Easter Sunday. Grant and I stayed home to tend to Grant's fever.

Breakfast when you've packed all the bowls.

Baby #3: The Q&A edition

These are some of the questions we have received via the blog, email or calling.

Q: What nationality will the baby be?
A: I don't think most mothers of bio kids have to answer this one, but when you have an AA son and a Chinese daughter, this question makes a whole lot of sense. Well, the birthmom is biracial: a mix of black, hispanic and white. The birthdad (I think??) is full AA, so we should have one little miss cute stuff on our hands!

Q: Are you sticking with G names?
A: It was never our intention. We always knew Grace's name would be Grace, and when we adopted Grant, we had a short list of names we liked, and when we saw him, we were pretty convinced Grant was his name. Plus, it was the name his birthmom liked best (of the options we told her), so there it was. So, with baby #3, the doors are open, but we tend to lean now toward really traditional names. I can guarantee there will be no yuppie in our choice. Do you have any names you think we should consider?

Q: Is there an issue with the baby being born in Massachusetts versus Indiana?
A: We might be under MA law; we might not. In talking with our lawyer, it will really come down to if she has claimed to be a resident of MA or not. It'd be helpful to be under IN law, as we wouldn't have to worry about the hoop-work involved in inter-state adoptions, but when you've adopted from a foreign country, a little inter-state paperwork does not seem that bad! So, in the end, we'll have to wait for our lawyer to come up with those answers.

Q: Are you ready to deal with a little black girl's hair?
A: Oh, the drama associated with black hair! If you haven't rented Chris Rock's Good Hair, you should check it out. Thankfully, we have lots of people to help us navigate the road when the time comes, especially the baby's birthmom. Until then, I'm going with bell hooks.

Q: Will you be in the new house by then?
A: Let's hope so! We take possession May 13, and we hope to have the kids' rooms painted and floors cleaned up within the week, so it's looking good that baby girl will get to come home to her very own nursery.

Q: Aren't you freaked out to bring a newborn, just a few days old, home with you on an airplane?
A: This might freak out most moms. But, a few hours on a plane with a kid does not scare mothers who have adopted internationally. Seventeen hours home with Grace... I think I can take a few hours.

Okay, are there more?

Baby #3

In the world of adoption, very little is certain. A birthmom could change her mind. A birthfather could enter the picture. But, the one thing that is absolutely certain is how excited we are to have another baby.

So, it's with equal measure hope and caution that we enter into adoption #3. Last night, we received a call from the agency saying that we had been selected by a birthmom. There were tears (of joy), head scratching (at the timing!!--we are in the middle of a move, after all), and lots of talk from the kids about what we should name the new baby.

It has been about a month since we were "active," about the same time it took in Grant's adoption. The baby is due June 2, and if all works out, we will be traveling to Massachusetts to bring the baby home (the birthmom lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana, but she's going to have the baby out east--long story). I got the opportunity to talk to the birthmom's mom (grandma to baby) last night, and we talked for hours. The conversation came so easily, was so full of love and laughter and hope. It simply couldn't have gone better.

We have yet to talk to the birthmom, and the first time we meet her will be in the hospital, most likely after birth. That's not the easiest of transitions for her, I'm sure, but we are confidant that God's hand is orchestrating these events, and therefore, can attend to her heart even now.

So, yeah, it's pretty exciting. Grant and Grace are very excited, talking INCESSANTLY about feeding and changing and being big siblings. It's very cute. It's hard to imagine that come summer we might very well be a family of five!

Oh, and it's a girl. Small detail.

Potential Baby #3 News...

Stay tuned...

Moving

Renters found. Movers come in a week.

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such nice people come to visit...

Last night, Erin leaned over and said "You know, I sure hope neither of us gets dementia or Alzheimer's as we get older."

All obvious reasoning aside, I asked "Why?"

And she replied, "Because we're going to be so confused about the black guy and the Chinese lady that keep coming around."

So true...so true...

Swim Lessons

Last year at this time, we started Grant in swim lessons. The one session we signed him up for lasted eight days. He cried for seven of the eight days (in his defense, the water was freezing!).

Then, in the fall, we did another eight day session. He cried the first day.

So, with the gradual commencement of spring, we opted to sign both kids up for swim lessons, but seeing how the two week sessions didn't provide much gain in Grant's swimming skill, we decided to sign them up for six consecutive weeks of lessons (oh, Mommy... what were you thinkin'?).

Grace loves the water, and so I was excited to see how she would do, and I was not surprised. She was moved up to Grant's class, and it's so cute to see her floating on her back and diving for pennies (but she's in a four-year-old class, so her feet don't even touch the water when she sits on the edge and is told to kick!). On the first day of class, I was reminded how far our little girl has come. She walked up to the person checking them in, and said, "My name is Grace, and this is my brother." She walked away from me without even looking back...

And then, in the water, she waves at me and loves being near Grant (they really are the best of friends; I am so thankful they are so close in age), but she's so confidant, so completely comfortable and secure. She still likes to be independent, but she never freaks out anymore when I tell her "no" or or when she doesn't get to do something on her 0wn. She's so sweet, so funny, so smart.

The attachment road was harder than I had expected, but almost two years into having Grace home, and it is all a distant, distant memory.

As I watched them clutching the wall the other day, neither crying, I was amazed. My two beautiful kids are growing up so quickly, and I'm so thankful that I get to watch every single step.

No Buttons

I finally caved.

After becoming the last holdout that I know (with the exception of my wife), I finally broke down and bought a "smart phone." It's only $25/month, so I convinced myself that I would be OK spending that for the convenience of staying in touch with work while traveling.

So I called "Bob" (who sounded vaguely like his name should have an "oo" appended to the end of it) to get the phone authorized the other night, and he told me that I needed to "dial ##8822#" to get activated. I looked down at the flat lump of plastic in my hand and calmly replied, "How do I do that? There are no buttons. Or numbers."

The rep acted a little stunned and walked me through how to get to a keypad on my new touchscreen phone. I have never felt so out of touch. I suddenly flashed back to images of my grandfather, madly mashing the buttons on his TV remote as though pressing them harder would make the TV work more to his liking.

In the end, I'm OK with it though. I don't mind that I'm a little bit out of sync. I never want my kids to remember staring at the top of my head while I played with my phone, so if that means that I'm always a couple of generations behind in gadget world, so be it.

Goodbye Naps

I can hardly believe that this day is here: Grant has dropped his afternoon nap! I thought he would make it all the way until he walked into elementary school, but alas, it's not to be. I still make him lie down for an hour (listening to music, books on cd, etc), which seems to refuel his tanks, and I am loving the extra one-on-one time we get in the afternoon while Grace sleeps. He dropped his nap all at once; there's nothing "gradual" about Grant! He's going to sleep earlier now, and he often sleeps to about 8:30, so he's still getting plenty of sleep.

It's just another indicator that I've got a full fledged little boy on my hands, one who is rocketing toward full kid-dom without looking back. Queue: tears.

Fish in an Igloo

A few weeks ago, I made an aborted trip to Jackson, Mississippi. It snowed. A lot. In Mississippi. Prior to that trip, I asked our good friend Georgette for some restaurant recommendations, knowing that she was a Jackson native. She passed along a few ideas...a Japanese steakhouse here, some barbeque there, and an igloo that serves fish.

A few weeks after that, I actually made a trip to Jackson, but I wasn't in town for my nightly feeding. So when I had to come back down here this week, I decided to revisit Georgette's list, focusing mainly on the fish igloo.

I punched in the location on the GPS, drove 20 minutes, and then lo and behold, I was staring at an igloo on the side of the road, announcing itself as Jerry's Catfish House. What the?

I figured the igloo had to have a hook of some kind. Was the catfish "ice breaded?" Was the iced tea "cold as an igloo?" Nope. Jerry just decided to build his restaurant so that it looked like one of those DPW salt/sand storage facilities you see along the highway.

I went inside and got seated. The menu had a plethora of options that mostly looked like "catfish and sides." I ordered the all you can eat catfish, and within 90 seconds, I was eating.

The waitress brought me about 2 pounds of fish, 20 hushpuppies, a bowl of coleslaw, and a basket of greasy french fries. It was heavenly. The breading on the catfish was nice and light, leaving plenty of internal storage for the pound of hushpuppies.

About 10 minutes later, the waitress asked if I needed more fish. I laughed out loud and said, "Uh...no." in much the same way that I suspect Jonah did while toweling off on the beach. She smiled, gave me my bill, and I was on my way.

So Georgette, your fish-gloo was a hit. Next time I'm down here, I'll be sure to checkout another of your Mississippi fine dining establishments.

Renting our House

It looks like we might try to take the plunge into landlordville. We know it is plagued with all kinds of pitfalls, but we are hopeful that we can find great tenants.

If you know anyone who would like to rent a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath house in Brownsburg, send them our way. If they turn out to work, we'll reward you with a referral of $300.

Hey, it's worth a try.

Glorious Spring

So, life's pretty busy right now. We're up to our ears in lenders, home inspections, and such. We spend every available minute trying to figure out what to do with the new house (oh, the work that needs to be done!), the new land (did we mention it is 3.5 acres with woods and a creek?), and the soon to be old house (sell or rent?). So, thankfully, the weather has been nice enough to get out, which means that our house isn't destroyed, Grant and Grace are generally over their winter grumps, and we can put them in bed completely spent at the end of the day.

Thank goodness we finished all the adoption paperwork before we started all the house paperwork!!

Major Decisions Come in Pairs, Right?

Adoption #3 underway? Check.

So what else can we do to make sure that my stomach stays as unsettled as possible?

Yeah, I think we just bought a house. More to come.

I swear, we're still here...

We took off on a little vacation last week. Actually, Bret was on business, and the kids and I just followed along with him. It sounded fun when we were in the planning stages, but we moved four different times, which just amounted to tired kids and a tired mommy. We did get the see family, and Grant adores his cousins, so that was swell. And, we got to visit with dear friends, and Grant is already swooping in on one of them as a potential mate, so he was in heaven. But, the road to recovery, combined with daylight savings time, has us a wee bit tired.

Plus, we've been a little busy with something else lately. We can't quite let you in on the secret yet (it does not involve baby #3), but we will shortly. Needless to say, when that post comes, it'll explain why this blog has set dormant.

Until then, here are a few pics of the kids (swimming, Huntsville science museum, and such). I don't have pictures of Grant and Grace with their cousins or friends (read: the most important part of the trip), mainly because they were running around too much to even snap a pic and also because our camera broke (Madeline, do you have a pic or two?). Such is life.

We'll keep you updated... life is a changin'.

Stress Reduction Theory

Since I took my new job in fall, I've been looking for ways to reduce stress. (While appreciative of being employed, this new gig is wearing...me...out.) I discovered that the quickest path to stress reduction for me was to cancel my gym membership.

I can't get up at 5am to go to the gym. It just makes me feel like I'm going to vomit to work out in a sleep deprived stupor. I don't want to go after work, since that's my 15 minutes a day that I get to spend with the kids. And I don't want to go on weekends because, well, what's the point if you're only going to go on weekends?

So what do I do? I stress over the $50/month I'm giving away to the gym. Therefore I canceled my gym membership and allocated an additional $50/month to our "eating out" budget. Stress reduction on two levels!

Now what to do with "the chub..."

Going to do Better

Between being sick and being sick and tired of the weather (not to mention all the adoption paperwork--yeah, we are officially done and active!), we haven't been around this blog much. I took about two pictures in February (lame).

So, even though I am feeling pretty lousy today (a fever and a headache will do that to you), I'm going to get some pictures up (even if it's the kids in pjs), and I'm resolved to do better in the weeks and months to come.

Now, for the cute kids in their cute hats.

Princess... kind of

Grace's concoction from the dress up bin: John Deere Princess. It's a lazy Saturday morning for us girls.

The Sandwich With the Ground Beef and Stuff

While grocery shopping Sunday afternoon, Erin asked me to retrieve a can of Manwich. Only she didn't want Manwich, she wanted whatever Meijer calls their generic version -- something along the lines of Meijer Sloppy Joe Sauce. I gladly fulfilled her request, and then the trouble started.

On the way home, I mentioned that I really wasn't a huge Manwich fan. She immediately became annoyed with me, asking why I would eat something I didn't like for the past eight years. (And no, I didn't manage to fall into this obvious trap.) I told her that it wasn't that I HATED Sloppy Joe mix, but that I was used to my mom's version which tastes significantly differently from canned Sloppy Joe mix.

Now I realize that traditionally saying "But this isn't how my mom made this!?" will get you kicked in the Sloppy Joes, but I was careful to differentiate the two products. In fact, they are not even called the same thing. The "ground beef in some sort of tomato-based sauce served on a bun" that my mom served was always referred to as a "Spanish Hamburger," a term no doubt found offensive in some corner of the planet.

I have no idea the origin of the name "Spanish Hamburger." It sort of reeks of "Hey Billy Joe, this here Mex-ee-can restaurant will put that meat they stuff in the burrito on a bun for you instead, if you ask 'em real nice." And in much the same way that they don't speak Mexican south of the border, the Spanish Hamburger was born.

The biggest difference for me is that my mom's recipe included cheese, which covers a multitude of sins. In our family, it made up for the fact that the ground meat being used was probably 99.99999999% fat free and scorched instantly upon hitting a frying pan.

Next time we see my mom, I plan to discreetly ask her for her recipe. And then perhaps I'll cook up some Spanish Hamburgers on my own. Perhaps me doing the cooking will offset the anger generated by fixing a meal because "I like my mom's better"...)

Southern Swing

This week for work, I'm visiting school districts in Mobile, Alabama, Jackson Mississippi, and Jonesboro, Georgia. With such an intenerary, I decided that one requirement was that I would get some good southern cooking at some point during the trip.

I realize that this probably doesn't shock those of you who know me, but I frequently plan driving trips around where I'll be eating. I make a quick pass through tripadvisor.com and chowhound.com, and I make a little list of GPS'able locations for restaurants. I am perfectly content to drive ten extra miles and pass 25 Chili's to get to a locally owned restaurant. It's what I love about traveling.

So last night I took off in my Toyota Yaris rental car from Mobile (it was either the Yaris or a 15 passenger van, and while there was something appealing in a "Magical Myster Tour" kind of way about the blog that might result from me randomly picking up 14 other people to join me in the van, I chose the Yaris in an effort to avoid being killed by a random grifter and left for dead in a Mississippi swamp) and headed toward Jackson.

My dinner location for the evening was a BBQ joint just outside of Hattiesburg, Mississippi. How can you drive through Hattiesburg and not want BBQ? I hopped off the freeway at the designated spot, drove a few miles, and the GPS told me I was there. The only problem was that I was on a four lane road surrounded by strip malls, and none of them showed any sign of being Leatha's BBQ Inn.

After I went past the designated spot, I made a U-turn and drove past it two more times, still not finding the restaurant. So despite its #1 rating on Tripadvisor, I decided that the place must have burned down or closed, and I dejectedly pulled off the road to begin searching for a new restaurant, preferably something like a Zaxby's, so that at least it would be someplace we don't have in "the north."

As I turned around, I noticed a little driveway behind the stripmall. I made my way down the path, and at the end was a barn with a few cars in front of it. There was no external lighting and no sign, but there were lights on inside. As I pulled closer, I noticed a hand made wooden sign hanging on the porch announcing Leatha's. I got giddy.

Inside the barn was a big open room filled with tables covered in random plastic tablecloths and white washcloths for napkins. There were maybe eight people inside, plus the staff. A kind-faced woman approached me and told me to sit anywhere.

"What can I getcha to drink?"
"Do you have sweet tea?"
"As muches youcan drink, honey."

Ah, I've found my people. The walls were a pictorial history of Leatha's from the past 50 years, and there were a steady stream of walk-in customers lining up at the counter for carryout.

After a few minutes, a heaping plate of pulled pork and potatoes hit the table in front of me, and the long drive to Jackson and pouring rain were quickly forgotten as I devoured some of the best BBQ I've had in a long time.

$12, a gallon of sweet tea, and 10 minutes later, and I was back on the road to Jackson. I called Erin and told her how cool the place was and that I felt like I'd just eaten on the set of "Fried Green Tomatoes." The evening took an ugly turn when it snowed on me as I pulled into the parking lot of my hotel in Jackson (snow in MS?), but nothing could have dampened my happiness at getting to eat dinner in a place like Leatha's. Two thumbs (and five newfound pounds) up.

I found a few pictures via Yelp.com of Leatha's. If you decide on a visit, just make sure to go where your GPS tells you and then pull behind the strip mall a ways to find them. It's worth the hunt.

No Interventions, Please

Grant: "Daddy, what's your superpower?"
Daddy: "I don't know...what's yours?"
Grant: "Karate!"
Daddy: "Indeed. What do YOU think daddy's superpower is?"
Grant: "Drinking."

Our very own karate kid...

Could he be any cuter? Oh, I mean "fierce."

Tissue?

Saturday night we went to a meet 'n greet for a new church we've been checking out. Apparently the other churches in town have tired of me asking "When do you bring out the snakes?" Thus we're diligently looking for a church home where we can meet some new people, get a good cup of coffee on Sunday morning, and get out of the parking lot quickly. Oh, and worship. That, too.

This meeting was at the pastor's house, and the goal was simply for him to introduce some fundamentals about the church and introduce us to some key figures. We started by going around and saying something about ourselves. Erin started to explain that we had met in Indianapolis almost 10 years ago and some other random data when I interrupted and said, "We're the couple with the Chinese kid and the black kid." Immediately you could hear the "Ahhs" and "That Grant is so cute." Erin's method was sort of like having a third eye and introducing yourself by saying that you like walks in the park and sunsets. Might as well go with the obvious.

After Erin and I introduced ourselves, the gentleman next to me began to speak, and almost immediately he teared up.

Now make no mistake, dear readers. I am in no way making fun of this gentleman. He had a touching story, and he was a genuinely nice guy. The issue at hand is all mine.

How do you react when you don't know the individual crying or anyone else in the room? If I'd have been sitting across the room from him, I'd probably have been analyzing my fingernails or occasionally nodding. Instead, I'm sitting right next to the guy and all eyes are aimed in my general direction. Do I give the guy I've never met a hug? Do I pretend that he's not emotional and just get up for more food? Do I feign a sudden nosebleed? It was all very awkward. I felt like I was at a funeral for somebody I'd never met.

The rest of the evening went fine. I didn't accidentally stain the carpet or ask any offensive questions, so Erin considered it a success. But I still left feeling weird. Maybe on Sunday I'll ask the guy if he needs to talk or if I can bring him a casserole next Tuesday night. That would be the church thing to do.

Lame Pictures

We recently went to Big Splash Adventure, a large indoor water park in French Lick, Indiana. The kids had a blast. I took one picture, and it was from the day before, in a completely different hotel (how could I pass up the swimsuits, floaties and snow boots?).

And this last weekend, we took the kids on a quick get-a-way which included snow tubing at Perfect North. And, I only took one picture (and not even of the snow!).

Lame.

Quick Cincy Visit

Erin and I were both pretty stressed out Friday night. I think we both had just had long weeks, and the kids were sort of wearing us out. So after church, we looked at each other and decided that we needed a quick getaway over the holiday weekend. We decided that our default weekend getaway to Cincy would do the trick.

We booked a $50 hotel room at the Hyatt downtown, and I sent a text message (how 2007 of me, right?) to my cousin Kate who now lives down here. She agreed to meet us for dinner with her man friend, Clint, and we made a late afternoon attack on Terry's Turf Club.

Haven't heard of Terry's, you say? Well it's been on several Food Network shows recently, apparently. It's a tiny little place that serves primarily hamburgers the size of a woman's basketball. It was glorious. Plus they have all sorts of random things on their menu like foie gras and things made of chicken. Why would you eat any of these things when there are burgers and fried things to be had?

It was fun to hang out with Kate and Clint, and the kids had a great time tonight at the pool. Mommy and daddy are feeling much better about life also, so I think it was money well spent. Tomorrow we may or may not stop on the way home for some tubing at Perfect North Slopes. We shall see. In the mean time, I plan to lay here in bed and keep my heart beating by manually moving my burger from Terry's around my major organs.

Four Years Old, or the "Where did the time go?" edition

It's hard to believe that four years ago our sweet and spicy Grant Nicholas was born into this world. Like most parents, we can remember that first day so well (the next six weeks were a bit of a blur at times).

Grant is so smart and so funny. He's so full of boy. He slays dragons daily, tells complete strangers that he is a special agent with the FBI, and spends long hours perfecting his bow and "arrowing" at enemy submarines (don't try to explain to him that enemy U-boats cannot be sunk by suction-ending plastic arrows). He runs, jumps, climbs, growls, roars and does most other things most commonly referred to as "being a boy." But, he's also extremely tender-hearted. Just today, he started sobbing at the end of The Giving Tree because "it was so sad." He's a snuggler, who loves to give and to get lots of affection.

He loves books (loves!) and television (loves!), and he loves going to preschool to see his friends. He is an extrovert of the highest order, and he is happiest and most energized when he's surrounded by people. He's not remotely shy, talking to anyone who will listen (even those who won't), and I want to go on the record right now that I think he has one of those autobiographical memories that are all the buzz right now. The boy's mind is a steel trap. We often ask Grant about when something happened because we are old and have already forgotten. Seriously, it's a little creepy.

But, most of all, he faithfully loves Jesus, which makes us happiest of all. He is learning daily what it means to be a child of God.

We feel so very, very grateful that Grant's birthmom gifted us with Grant. We feel so blessed that God chose us to be Grant's parents.

Here are Grant's birthdays: from the very first to today.

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

Disappointment

Grant woke up this morning SO excited to go to school today because today was supposed to be HIS special day. He got to bring the show and tell; he got to be the weather watcher and line leader, and most importantly, the class was celebrating his birthday, complete with songs, a gift and brownies Mommy made.

So, imagine the utter disappointment when he found out that school had been called off for the day. Oh, the tears!

AwardWallet and Winter Travel

What are the chances that I would need to go to Jackson, Mississippi the one week when they're expecting snow and ice?

After spending an hour on the phone yesterday with customer service departments at several airlines, web sites, and rental car agencies, I was finally left with the realization that there just wasn't much I could do until the snow hits the South tonight. What a pain...

In the mean time, all this travel stuff reminded me that I've been meaning to do a quick post about a new website I discovered that has been a big help over the past few months. It's called AwardWallet, and it basically gives you a single place to track airline points, hotel points, ATM points, etc. My favorite piece is that it shows you your frequent flyer numbers and attempts to automatically log you into the various airline sites with a single click.

I know this may seem trivial, but with airline miles scattered all over the place, this site is a life saver. Plus when I travel with the kids, I don't have to spend an hour digging out their frequent flyer numbers. (Yes, our kids have frequent flyer accounts. Might as well start 'em young...)

Anyway, if you get a chance, checkout AwardWallet.com...

Baby #3

Well, the wait is over for our two, maybe three, followers: info about baby #3. That's right: we hope to bringing home a new baby in 2011. We don't have many details yet, but we do know that we are planning to adopt another domestic newborn (unsure of baby's sex, as we have not yet been selected by a birthmom). We're using the same agency--for better or for worse--and we hope to have our homestudy done by the end of February at the latest. From there, we expect between a one day to six month wait.

The kids are already in bunk beds, so the nursery in our ever-constricting house is empty and ready. Grant and Grace talk about the new baby all the time, and we often catch them playing "adoption" (as they call it) with one of Grace's baby dolls. Bret and I are excited too, and now that I am home full-time, we hope the transition will be a bit more mellow.

Right now, we're just getting fingerprints, background checks and other info in order. We have a mandatory class (don't even get me started--we've adopted two kids for crying out loud) next week, our physicals in early February, and a meeting with our social worker soon.

That's all we know; we'll keep you posted as we have news.

Our little girl

Here are a bunch of random things about Grace that I have typed up (one toddler interrupted sentence at a time) over the last week (translation: if it doesn't flow, blame it on the two kiddos):

Grace is growing up so quickly. In the last two months or so, she's gone from a toddler to a honest-to-goodness preschooler. She throws very few tantrums anymore; she has very few freak out sessions when she doesn't get her way. It might be safe to say (queue: the "she's going to regret saying this music") that we are leaving the terrible twos.

She sings all the time, loves her stuffed animals and dolls, and likes to "do your hair," as she tells me hourly. She is wildly independent, and she's entered a super bossy stage, especially with Grant. She is sweet and affectionate (both on her terms), and she's smart and funny. She is still SUPER particular: whether it's building a lego tower or tearing the paper off of a bandaid, she has a patient and thorough way she does things. She'll make a great surgeon or architect--something where her attention to detail is a good thing! For example, her favorite toy: a piggy bank where she can put change in for HOURS or Legos where she builds tower after tower.

She is starting to like longer books, and for the first time ever, she watched a half hour of Curious George (I don't want my kids zoned out for hours on TV, but that 30 minutes was FABULOUS). She still remains a tad bit uncoordinated on land, but I think she might have a special skill in the water (translation: Olympic diver material, no doubt). She'll start swim lessons with Grant this spring, so we'll see how she does.

She has become very friendly with people, willing to talk and to hug total strangers. The attachment road was hard with Grace, and it took almost a full year before I was willing to say that I we were in the clear, so her complete security as a member of our family is endearing to watch.

Okay, I have to jet. More on Grant next week (the boy turns four--how did that happen?) and baby #3 (more details to come!).