Take That Disney Princesses

Grant's fascination with all things Disney continues, and his love of the Disney princesses is still going strong. Grace received a chair with the Disney princesses on it for Christmas, and Grant steals it all the time to talk to his girls. He tells them about how he loves them and plans on saving them.

But, I don't really like many of those princesses. They are weak, needy, and not at all want for my son (or my daughter). Belle, for example. What does she teach? That you should stay with an emotionally abusive man, trying to see through to his "softer side"? No thanks. Or Jasmine? If your true love happens to be a thief who doesn't work, you shouldn't judge him? If Grace brought home her true love who happened to be an unemployed petty crook, I'm going to have something to say. Or Snow White. That girl is dim. She obviously didn't listen to the "you can't trust everyone" lecture, and that kind of stupidity is--well--stupid.

I do like a few of the "princesses." For example, I think Mulan is pretty wicked (and not just because she is Chinese). She saves her family and the whole country of China. I think it's a shame that she has to pretend to be a dude to do so, but at least, she has a mind and isn't afraid to use it. And even Pochahontas. I think it's a lame movie, but at least she's willing to choose the "not so happily ever after" because she recognizes that she has responsibilities.

What it comes down to is this: I don't like or respect weak women. I want to scream: have a backbone! Stand up! Make a decision!

So, this morning, when two-herniated-backed-gum-surgery-recovering Bret looked out the window to our drive way covered with snow, I took it as an opportunity to show my kids that Mommy ain't no whimp. There were parts of our driveway covered by 16 inches of snow, and so, after I bundled Grant up, I grabbed a shovel, and my son and I went out to labor in the cold.

I want Grant to grow up knowing that women are strong and capable individuals. We're not afraid to get muddy. We're not afraid to work our tails off in the freezing cold. And if he meets a woman who can't or thinks she's too much of a princess to sweat it out, she's not quite the fairy tale he had imagined.

Gummy

I had gum surgery yesterday. 

That's really all you have to say.  You don't have to really give any additional details for people to go, "Yech.  That blows."  All in all, it was a relatively easy procedure.  I was supposed to have a gum graft done, but the periodontist (an excellent doctor from South America...the 2nd South American to do surgery on my gums...) was able to "reposition" the existing tissue with the help of a fork and knife and prevent any further damage that might have been incurred while grafting the tissue from another site.  Delightful, huh?

So while I'm not in pain, this greatly limits my Super Bowl eating and drinking.  The doctor joked that I should go "wine & cheese" instead of "chips & soda," a suggestion I'm more than OK with.  In the mean time, I'm keeping ice on my cheek and waiting for our new computer to arrive (next week...it's in the mail!!)

One other thing I saw today that made me laugh.  I started to leave a comment on a music blog that I read, and as verification that I was "human" and not a spam-bot of some kind, it put this before the "Submit" button:

? = 7 + 4

I had to answer this question to submit my comment.  I realize that the goal here is to make people enter something that only a human would be able to do and not a robot.  But based on my experiences in the past few years, I'm guessing this eliminates more than a few stupid comments as well.

Disappointment

I have caught my kids' vomit in my bare hands so many times now that it doesn't even phase me.

Like today, when we were standing in the lobby of the world famous Indianapolis Children's Museum after hours of talking about how fun it would be (needless to say, Grant was a bit excited), and Grant threw up. Again. Again. Again.

He hasn't been out in weeks (some kind of bronchitis crap), so he ran circles upon circles just to get to the lobby, so you can imagine the mess I had on my hands (no pun intended) when he discovered that his vomit party was going to lead to us getting right back in the van and heading home.

He was manic, naked in his carseat, and--perhaps for the first time in his life--experiencing true disappointment.

I smelled like vomit, which anymore, is all in a day's work.

Side Effects

One of the side effects of Erin's current trend toward "deal-based consumerism" is that we never have the same brand of any given product twice.  In general, this doesn't bother me at all.  In fact, it's sort of exciting in a "I'm middle-aged with two kids and a house covered in siding" kind of way to wake up and use Crest one morning and Aquafresh the next.  It keeps things spicy.

There is one area where I find this troubling -- toilet paper.

I know, I know...not another bathroom blog.  But next to sleep (and only slightly ahead of my job), the bathroom is where I spend most of my day.  And let's be honest -- everyone desires consistency in the bathroom.  It's why old people eat cereal made from packing material and young people refuse to do the "big job" in strange places.  We all long for consistency.

The problem with Erin's shopping is not that we end up with different brands of toilet paper.  I couldn't care less if I'm using Charmin or White Cloud.  (My only request is that our toilet paper not be made from "recycled" materials.  I'm all for saving the earth, but I'm more in tune currently with saving my a**.  The earth doesn't make riding a stationary bike at the gym uncomfortable.  Find me some fluffy recycled materials, and I'm game.)

The problem lies in that we end up with different thickness and ply in our various bathrooms.  As each roll in each bathroom runs out, a new roll, a new brand, and a new thickness goes in.  This leaves too much room for error.  I frequently find myself zinging off enough TP to make my arm look like an oversized Q-tip, only to discover that in THIS bathroom on THIS particular day, we're using some sort of 8-ply product with super fuzzy softness, leaving me with enough paper for 10 trips (and too much to, uh, fit for just this one trip).

Even worse is the converse.  I pull off a couple of sheets, fold them over gently, and quickly discover that I'm doing a home cancer screening of some sort because we're using a single ply paper meant only for RVs and stadiums.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, this seems small.  But you can't deny that there are few worse ways to start your day than a) plugging up your bathroom toilet with 5 pounds of Ultra Charmin or b) making first contact with yourself in an undesirable way.

Any One Want In..

I want to buy a quarter of a grass fed cow. Any one want to split it with me?

Not joking.

Updates

Again, sorry it's been so slow here the past couple of weeks.  We are STILL waiting on our new home PC to arrive.  It's due to arrive the first week of February, so hopefully we'll get back to more regularly posting then.

The other big thing going on with us right now is that our kids are, again, sick.  It started last week with Grace, and now Grant has it.  Colds, fevers, runny noses, coughing all night.  It's making all of us extremely tired, although right now Erin and Grant are in the worst shape.  Never before have I been so ready for winter to end.  Poor little Grace's face has been chapped since October, and we're on at least our third major round of illnesses for the winter.

I hope everyone is doing well, and we look forward to getting back to more interesting posts in a couple of weeks!!

Nemesis

A new antagonist has made its way into our house.  It's an air freshener.  It's one of those new fangled air fresheners that only goes off when someone enters its line of sight  or when it hasn't gone off in a while.  I do not like this thing.

First off, it makes a really fearsome hissing noise when it goes off.  Phhhtthfffft.  Followed by what sounds like some gears grinding.  It's very disconcerting.

The air freshener is currently placed in the bathroom within our bedroom.  I will not comment on why Erin chose to place it there.  Perhaps she has a problem of some sort that she needs to disclose.  In any case, I frequently forget that that air freshener is in there, and as I enter, I get the "Phhthhhtffftt" as it decides to emit its fragrant spray.  I feel like it's judging me.

And finally, when I need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I have learned that the air freshener will not go off in the dark.  This pleases me.  At least I can have some peace in the middle of the night. 

Unfortunately last night I needed to take some medicine, so I flipped on the light, only to immediately receive a blast of fragrance, the sound of which scared me into needing to also use the toilet.  The thing is right at eye level, so you literally feel as though you've been fragrantly maced in your nighttime stupor.  Not cool, I say.  Not cool.

Go Colts!

Dear Troy and Riley,

Tomorrow, when the Colts v. Jets AFC championship game is a few minutes from starting and the cameras are panning the frenzied Lucas Oil Stadium crowd, as they pass over Section 409, Erin and I will make sure to give you guys a hearty wave.

I'll even eat an extra hotdog for ya...  :-)

Bret