Down South

(Warning -- This blog entry is of record length. Reader beware.)

This weekend, Erin and I took a quick trip to Birmingham to see some of our relatives, as well as get a quick, early breath of spring before Indiana turns into its usual summer sauna. We left work a little early on Friday and headed toward Louisville. I figured traffic would be heavy, given that it's spring break for many high schools, and I was correct. We crawled through Louisville, but not really any slower than normal. All was well until we hit Nashville. Nashville seems to be perpetually under construction, and this combined with rush hour, rain, and a number of accidents made our trek through town last about two hours longer than we would have liked. We did manage to find a very good restaurant in Brentwood, TN called Vittles. Lots of great southern cooking, and it made for a nice break from the storm. You'll discover as you read this that good food was a theme on this trip. Food in general is a theme on any trip I take, so this should come as no surprise.

After plowing through another few hours of 35 mph traffic and storms, we finally arrived in Birmingham. All of my relatives in Birmingham were extremely generous and accomodating during our entire visit, and Erin and I both just want to thank everyone for clearing their weekend to spend time with us. We had a great visit. It was a little disconcerting that the first thing everyone told us was that they didn't want to "end up on your blog." They said this as though it's a bad thing, so I'll leave out any details which might leave me cut out of a will somewhere down the line.

The highlight of the visit for my wife was the discovery of her new favorite dessert, lovingly named "orange salad." It's a concoction of Cool Whip, orange jello mix, pineapple, and mandarin oranges. It's a tasty food and all, but Erin turned it into an object of devotion. We attempted to make it when we returned home yesterday, but I was left in charge of the mixing, and apparently if you use frozen Cool Whip when you beat the whole mix together, it turns from a light, fluffy dessert into a sort of mandarin sludge. Not pretty. I'll leave the making of this to Erin in its entirety next time.

Another highlight of our trip was a visit to Vulcan Park overlooking Birmingham. The statue is interesting in and of itself, given that it's mooning the entire south side of the city. But more interesting was the elevator ride up the tower and the walkway surrounding the top of the tower offering panoramic views of the city. We thought this would be enjoyable, until we reached the top of the tower and discovered that the entire walkway around the top of the tower is constructed of a metal mesh. This means that you can look out over the city in all its splendor, or you can look down between your feet to the spectre of death which lays on the sidewalk far below. Keep in mind that this statue is already on top of a mountain, coupled with the fact that you've risen 124 feet above the park in the elevator. Erin and I clung to the walls of the walkway pretty closely, as though we'd somehow be able to cling to the side of the spire if that mesh walkway dropped out from underneath us. All of this greatly amused my cousin and his wife, who I'm sure will use this experience against us at some point in the future.

Anyway, we had a great visit to Birmingham, and it was great getting to see my uncle crawl around his living room coffee table chasing his grandson. I strongly suspect that he plays with the train set which sits atop the table more when his grandson isn't present. Other highlights of the trip included a hike around Vestavia Hills looking at new homes being built, as well as seeing the land my cousin is working on devloping. This second event included a ride in his Hummer H2. The ride itself was enjoyable enough, but watching him plunk down $72 to fill it was the real delight. We filled up, drove around their development for a half hour, and I suspect it was due to be filled again. I might be inclined to tie several hybrids together to meet my offroading needs, but I digress. Again, we had a wonderful visit, and it was really great to see everyone.

On Monday morning we made our exit and headed into Tennessee to scout out the Land Between the Lakes. Erin is going camping up there with some students, and we decided that it would be good to check things out prior to her August trip. On the way up, we cut through the middle of Tennessee and landed in Lawrenceburg at the Square 40 Restaurant. They had a lunch buffet of fried vegetables, beef and noodles, and other southern specialties, and the total price with drink was something like $4.99. It was wonderful. I can smell a good buffet from a mile away, but Erin was responsible for this stop. I did hear one of the guys behyind the register threaten a man's life if he ever came in there again, but it appeared to be all in good fun. Our next stop was in the town of Erin, Tennessee. My wife was delighted by seeing her name on all of the buildings, most especially the "First Bible Baptist Church of Erin." Such an establishment will do wonders for religious freedom, I'm sure. In any case, I found the Erin Quicky Lube to be much more entertaining, and less likely to draw lightning from our Creator.

After leaving Erin, TN and looking at desolation in Land Between the Lakes for several hours and driving for what felt like an eternity, we inquired as to a good place for dinner in Grand Rivers, Kentucky. A guide at the park headquarters enthusiastically informed us that Patti's was the only place to go. Patti, as it turns out, owns a whole host of facilities in Grand Rivers, including a miniture golf course and about 25 gift shops. The restaurant itself was a sort of Alice In Wonderland meets Cracker Barrel motif. Their specialty -- a two inch thick pork chop. This, of course, was my selection. Erin got a steak. My chop was pretty great (I'm a sucker for thick meats) and Erin's steak was ok. We were tired and hungry, so we ate. They also served bread baked in a flower pot, which was interesting. Our server, Nolan, was a delightful individual, but he did make one error in judgment. After we finished our meals, he informed us that since we "pretty much devoured those dinners" he would bring us a dessert menu. While it didn't stop me from ordering a dessert the size of a basketball, it did leave me feeling a little self-conscious about the two pounds of pork I had just eaten. It was quickly forgiven. Following Patti's, we retreated to our hotel to watch the NCAA finals.

Tuesday morning we got up and headed toward Central City, Kentucky -- home of the Everly Brothers monument. We drove through town once and ended up having to stop at a gas station to inquire about the location of the monument. A local gas station attendant who clearly was sick of hearing about the Everlys pointed us back to the "thing that looks like a grave in front of the fire station." She was correct in her assessment of this tribute to two living legends. It didn't stop me from taking a picture though. I grew up listening to the Everly's, and I've made a convert out of Erin as well. It was worth the stop, even if it did turn out to be merely a headstone.

Following Central City, we headed toward Owensboro. Now this might seem out of the way, but Owensboro is the home of the Moonlite BBQ. There are BBQ joints all over the south, but the Moonlite is something special. As we arrived in Owensboro, I stopped at a gas station, again, to inquire to the location. The girl behind the register finished her directions with "you'll smell it before you see it" which is always a good sign for a restaurant. We headed through the doors of the Moonlite ready to stuff our faces with chopped pork when I looked at my watch -- 10:03am. Now there are few times when good BBQ doesn't sound completely appealing. 10:03am is one of them. We still ordered our food, but a few bites in and both Erin and I had realized that our previous judgment call in the car ("we'll just stuff it in") had been incorrect. You can't just stuff in BBQ brunch. We boxed everything up and headed out. I happily ate the BBQ in the car somewhere in southern Indiana.

All in all, we had a brief but excellent vacation. In the last six weeks I've been to Denver, Chicago, Traverse City, and Birmingham. I'm looking forward to a weekend in good old Brownsburg this weekend...

Bret