Cruise Envy

Since we didn't choose to drive 300 miles searching for "the perfect campsite" this weekend, we took some time to sit down and really think about where we would like to take our next vacation. In the past couple of years, every trip has been "the last big, blowout trip before Grace." I think we're on our fifth "big, blowout trip" at this point, but who's counting. The brainstorming for this latest trip led us initially to exotic destinations like Prague, Amsterdam and Paris. (Paris isn't really so exotic, I suppose, but the one time I was there, I remember thinking that seeing boobs on billboards seemed exotic enough, so I guess it still counts.) After a few hundred hours of consultation on the web, we discovered that post-Christmas Europe is, apparently, cold and damp. Our dreams of sidewalk cafes and whatever they have in Prague were instantly dashed, and we decided to look elsewhere.

Our parents recently returned from a cruise which they quite enjoyed. My mother rode a jet ski. For those of you who may know my mom, this should conjure images of Mother Theresa riding a mechanical bull -- except that Mother Theresa probably outweighed my mom (and may still.) In any case, we also heard tales of members of Erin's family leading line dances on the ship. I can't really imagine anyone in my family doing that without the aid of an overdose of some sort. While we realize the video is dark, here are some of Erin's relatives gettin' jiggy wit it.



All in all, it sounded like everyone had a good time, so Erin and I started thinking about a cruise. We initially thought about a river cruise in Europe, that is until we read that these cruises are enjoyed "primarily by those over 55." I suggested to Erin's parents that I "didn't want to take a cruise chock full of old people" and spent the next half hour getting the fork out of my forehead. Apparently my mother-in-law doesn't think 55 is old any more. Anyway, the image of me in a smoking jacket sitting next to a German version of Don Knotts at dinner doesn't seem all that appealing, so we tossed this idea. Erin spent roughly 3 solid days exhausting the options, and in the end, we decided on a cruise out of Miami into the Eastern Carribbean. It'll give us a few days to see south Florida (Erin wants to see alligators in the Everglades; I want to see if the Shoney's breakfast buffet looks the same as it does most everyplace else); in addition, Miami costs a whole lot less than our previous potential iteneraries. The only problem is that now I have to start losing weight again to give myself a little room to grow on the cruise. I've requested a room with its own soft-serve machine.