A-Camping We Will Go...

After months of driving around looking for the perfect site and fending off questions about her sanity, my wife departed this morning with a bus load of high school students to go camping. In her absence, I immediately did the following:

-- Stopped and ate one of those Quadruple Stackers from Burger King. You know, the ones advertised as having "No Veggies" as though the vegetables might give you heart disease.

-- Rented a bunch of horror movies.

-- Got drunk.

-- Belched the alphabet in the car on the way home.

-- Smoked three cigarettes at once.

-- Listened to all the Pixies and Pavement CDs at high volume.

-- Drove really fast on the interstate.

-- Told a kid in the supermarket that "books are stupid."

-- Farted, and then laughed about it.

-- Watched South Park.

-- Scratched myself in public.

And finally…

-- Posted a blog entry entirely designed to embarrass the wife.

In reality, I went to church and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to do with myself all day. And in reality, I’m eating a frozen pizza for lunch, since it was all I could find that could be consumed with minimal effort. It’s going to be a long week.

Mommy?

(UPDATE: I burned the pizza while typing up this stupid blog entry. Looks like it's pumpkin pie for lunch...)