"I need some help in here..."

This is the one thing in China that I simply cannot understand. I risked being beaten senseless to take this picture, but I feel that this is a topic that warrants some discussion.

First off, while I was taking this, there was a gentleman in the next, er, squatting area who was obviously having a bad morning. If it were me in Indianapolis, I would simply sit down with a copy of the morning paper and let nature take its course. But in this scenario, how does one relax? How can I possible spend the time to make this an enjoyable experience when I'm doing some kind of Johnny Bench style squat? My knees couldn't take it.

The whole time I've been over here, I've been debating whether to give this thing a run (har har). My coworkers and I have decided that it's not a good idea. I guess my biggest question lies in what to do with my pants. I looked around for some sort of hook, thinking perhaps you were supposed to strip down before using this thing, but it doesn't exist. I can't imagine how I would really use this without having some sort of incident where I'd spend the rest of the day explaining to people "No, really, it's chocolate. I spilled cocoa." Plus based on the cleanliness of the majority of the facilities I've seen over here, I'm not thinking I want to be scooting around this thing in my socks.

There is exactly one bathroom in our whole building at work here which has a "western" style toilet. One of my coworkers used it yesterday and discovered that if he sat on it, his knees were against the door of the stall such that he couldn't even close the door. Someone needs to show these folks how to build a proper facility.

I suggested on multiple occasions this week that I needed a demo by an Asian to show me how to use this thing. I suppose it would be a fairly unpleasant experience, but I really would like to know. Until I see a demo, I'm convinced that these folks have an extra muscle or something that I don't have, because it doesn't appear to me that there's any way I would use this without ending up with either a leg or an arm in the drink.

And trust me, after a week of eating the local cuisine, I greatly fear the inevitable scenario which finds me out and about with only a "squatty potty" in sight.