Side Of Fries: Man do I hate international travel...

You know, when I was in college, I loved traveling. I'd have paid my own way for my company to send me to someplace exotic like China. But what I've discovered since marrying Erin, and even more recently since having Grant, is that I now despise being sent out of the country. I hate being away from home. I hate the hassles. I hate not hearing Grant coo in the morning. I hate not leaving for work with a stinky, formula stain somewhere on my clothes from Captain Spitup. But alas, this is the predicament I find myself in, so here's the last two days of my life.

I left our house at 6:00am on Saturday morning in hopes of catching an 8:00am flight to Newark. My Hong Kong flight was to leave Newark at 3:00pm, and I was booked on a flight arriving from Indy at 2:00pm. Thus with all the bad weather, I thought it prudent to catch the early flight. Got to the airport...flight cancelled. Back to Brownsburg. Got home around 7:30am. Returned to the airport around 10:30am. Flew to Newark, arrived 2:30pm...close, but I'll make the Hong Kong (heretofor known as "the HK" for you hipsters) flight. Got the gate at 2:45pm. Flight delayed until 4:00pm. Eat a Nathan's hot dog, return to gate. Flight delayed until 5:00pm. Boarded the flight around 6:00pm. We taxi out into the parking lot someplace and sit...until about 9:00pm. No updates, no info. Sit. We finally depart (with cheers) for our trip over the North Pole to HK.

Now normally I'd make lots of comments about the food, tiny toilets, etc, but to be honest, I slept a lot on this flight, which was nice. My only comment is that they have replaced the notorious curtain between first class and the commoners with a mesh curtain. This just adds to the frustration for those of us in economy. At one point I heard the stewardess asking a man if he wanted nuts on his sundae. Then it was what KIND of nuts. Then it was, "Do you want whipped cream?" "Cherries?" and on and on. When the thing came out, it looked spectacular. About the time his was delivered, I was handed one of those little cups of vanilla with a used popsicle stick to eat it with. The guy got up to go to the toilet, and he very nearly lost his precious sundae. Otherwise, food on Continental was WAY better than United. Travellers take note.

I arrived at the HK airport at 11:00pm. After spending an hour waiting for my bag, I headed to ground transportation. Normally we take the ferry to the mainland, but it's shut down after 9, so I started surveying my options. About this time, a wiry little Chinese dude who looked about 65 but had dyed hair and rather trendy shoes which said, "I'm actually 40 but dying at a much faster rate than you" started yelling "Shenzhen taxi...Shenzhen taxi." Perfect, I thought. I know guys at work have hired cars to take them over. I was set. So I follow Hong Kong Louie out into the parking lot, where he shows me into the back of his Toyota minivan. No taxi meter, no "Your driver is Samir"...nothing. I begin envisioning my organs being harvested and a group of guys saying, "Nice work, Qu Phong. You got us a fatty." So I demanded to see some identification. He pulled out a laminated card which basically said "Qu Phong -- HK taxi guy." A middle school kid with Photoshop could have made it before the bell rang, but I said, "Looks good." By this point, we were going about 95 MPH on the freeway out of the airport. What do you do?

Now Louie had agreed to get me to the Holiday Inn in Shenzhen (SZ for the hipsters) for $600 Hong Kong Dollars (HKD). So we're sailing along. We hit a toll booth, and he demands $50 (HKD) (about $7 US). I'm like "tolls aren't included?!" He says no, so I'm like, work is paying this...fine. He hands me back less than I expect, so I say "Where's the rest?" and he says "I've got to get back to the airport, no?" So now I'm being driven out in the middle of nowhere to die...on my own dime. Or work's dime.

We hit the crossing into mainland China, and Louie hops out of the minivan and stands by my door. "What the hell are you doing?" I politely inquire. He informs me that he can't drive into China. "Welcome to Shenzhen" he says. I started griping about our little misunderstanding, at which point he says, "I'll go with you for $400 HKD more." I reply, "I'm pretty sure I can get there from here" while in my head I'm standing in a bus terminal in the middle of nowhere at 1:00am with 10000 Chinese people milling around. "Ok, fine."

A guy drives us into the bus terminal. We hop a SZ city bus to cross the border (after going through a customs checkpoint.) After that, the guy catches me a cab and tells the driver where I'm headed. Worth his price? In the middle of the night? Yep. I'd never do it this way again, but he DID get me to SZ. So now I'm racing through SZ in a cab. I'm looking for landmarks that I know, but I never got into downtown during the last trip. The place is massive. Like Chicago sized. I finally see an exit sign for Nanhai Blvd, which I know is where my company and hotel are. Shew. The cab dumps me, and I head for the desk.

Now at some point during this past week, American Express Travel lost my hotel reservation, so I rebooked on Friday. But by that time, all rooms were full for Tuesday night, and all rooms were now smoking...not cool in Asia. The girl at the desk looks up my reservation, and I explain that I have reservations for nights 1, 2, and 4, but really need 1 through 4. She understands. The hotel is full though. She talks to her manager. Voila...I'm in a suite. Non-smoking even. It really is an awesome room. It makes up for a lot of this evening's horrors. Free laundry, free mini-bar, free happy hour. It's sort of like, "Welcome to China. You're stuck here, so drink up!" Here are some pics.