Evil Shoes

You know what really gets under my skin these days? Those shoes that all kids under 13 now seem to own that have the wheels in the soles. Actually, it's not so much the shoes themselves, it's more the little monsters wearing them. Or perhaps their parents.

The other day I was in Target, and a kid rolled up to me at high speed and screetched to a halt just before he bowled me over. He then looked up at me with a look that suggested "Dude, you are totally in my way. Walking is for suckers."

I think the shoes are an interesting idea. A novelty. But I am starting to have a real problem with parents who let their kids sail around grocery stores and shopping malls on the transportive equivalent of roller skates. And it seems that every kid that nearly runs over me while wearing these things has a sort of "using your legs is SO 1990's" attitude. Snotty little rugrats. They seem to have the attitude that somehow God has gifted these special wheels to them, and now the rest of the non-wheeled Sneetches are to get out of their way when they come blazing through.

I'm not buying it. I'm going to start carrying a jug of tar around like Wyle E. Coyote. And I'm going to say to the first kid that falls prey to my goo-based retribution, "Dude, learn how to walk like the rest of us."