It's rare that someone posts a comment on here that I feel requires a response. But someone posted this comment (2nd one in the list) last night, and I think perhaps I should clarify things a bit.
First, I absolutely love Grace. She IS beautiful, and boys WILL be lining up on our doorstep in a few years. Grace has already proven herself a funny, intelligent, and highly adaptable baby girl, and I couldn't be happier that she's a part of our family.
What I was trying to suggest in my previous post was that I don't think you can be completely ready when you receive your child from China. Yes, I realize we've been waiting for over 3 years. (Trust me...we March 2006 LIDs know how long we've waited.) But similar to the way you can't be completely prepared for marriage despite a long engagement, you simply cannot be completely ready for the added pressures of a new toddler. I would contend that if you're absolutely confident that you've got your bases 100% covered, you'd best be prepared for some surprises.
So let me be clear -- I do not consider Grace a burden. She is a gift from God, and I only hope I can give her the upbringing that she deserves, in exactly the same way I'm trying to give Grant the life that he deserves.
I might suggest to the individual who left the anonymous post on our blog that they do not, apparently, know our family. We love both of these kids with all our hearts, and I'm sorry if that wasn't clear in my post. I was simply trying to be honest and let people know that no matter how long you've been patiently waiting for your baby to come home, you simply can't be completely ready for the life change it will bring. And I suspect that I'm not alone in that sentiment.
Now back to your regularly scheduled pictures of the kids and occasional commentary on what has happened to me recently while in the bathroom.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
13 comments:
Well put!! I have only 3 biological children, but am supporting family in this journey of adopting from China. And no matter whether the children are adopted or biological, you are still entitled to having a bad day/week/month! YOU ARE HUMAN! It is not easy to go from one toddler to 2. It cannot be easy (with not so willing participants) to try to get 2 toddlers thrust together to like eachother. It does not mean you love either more than the other. It means you have successfully adopted a second child and are doing your best. And if you need a vacation to take some of the tension off, who the heck are we to judge?
Kathi
p.s. I love reading your blog. I check every morning and laugh all the time!
Man, I wonder what the poster would say about my occasional rants about my one 2 month old child! :) I always appreciate your humor and honesty. While we love our child(ren), they aren't an exception to the whole "people are complicated" outlook. I'm sure that, in spite of the struggle, Grace and Grant both know they are not only loved by their parents but also loved by God.
peace.
Adding a child to one's family is a HUGE adjustment, especially when the child is older. Of course you love your children. And of course it's a huge blessing to parent them both. That doesn't make it any less difficult.
I could have easily written that same blog many times over the past 11 months that we have had our two most beautiful, wonderful, exceptional 7 and 9 years olds. Two kids of any age can cause you to question your sanity. YOU AND ERIN ARE AMAZING PARENTS ~ you guys are being used daily to inspire others in their life's journey!
Well done. Keep up the wonderful blogging with the dry sense of humor that makes us all chuckle.
I read your blog almost daily (many people referred us to the blog when we began our adoption journey). I love your humor and honesty, if only we all could be like that:)
Oh geez. WTH is wrong with people? It's clear Anon (btw, Anon comments annoy me - if you can't say it with your name out there then you probably shouldn't say it at all) has no children yet since they would then know that you can love them beyond all belief but still be annoyed/exhausted/frustrated/etc with them.
I'd planned to comment on the last post but I was just going to say that we're close to W'burg and if y'all wanted to do a quick meetup at the epicenter of all things Elmo at BG then give a shout. We're up there frequently. :)
I agree with what Amy said...if you can't post your name then maybe you shouldn't be posting!!! I have four children, one of them is not mine by birth mine by marriage, and I can vouch for you that no matter how much you love them there are just those days! Keep up the great work Bret and Erin! I knew Erin well in high school and I also agree with you when you said you married an amazing woman of God!!!
I usually try to keep my big mouth shut, but...
suggesting that you are deficient as a parent just because you find certain aspects of parenthood frustrating, challenging, or just annoying is naive.
Sorry Anon, but the notion that you should just choose to be thrilled with feeling overwhelmed with a new familial responsibility is like telling a woman with post-partum depression to just try harder to feel normal.
Kids are hard work, and that's the end of it. They are also worth it. They teach us how it is possible for God to love us despite the grief we give Him... although personally, I think He must do a lot of eyerolling.
Good job Brett and Erin.
When I read the comment, it broke my heart for the person writing it. I imagined them being in a tough place waiting for a child.
I do appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this blog! You guys are awesome parents and all that you are feeling is totally normal! When they outnumber you, it's even more fun! :-)
Its nice that you have clear up the issue about you children.
Pardon me too. I too get the feeling from your input that Grace
was treated second best and to you
and maybe even to your wife Grant is the "gem" to put your own words.
Parents shouldn't prioritise their
affection to your children
Hey there former travel mate..this is Amy, we adopted Sophie, and were in your travel group! I just wanted to say I 100% agree w/you that no one can prepare you for this adjustment! Sophie has done great..but I think Jeff and I have had a harder time adjusting to her as another member of the family! It's great and a gift as you said, but a lot of work..I totally "hear" you on what you posted!
I'm the friend of a 3/15/2006 LIDer from Rumor Queen and find your blog hysterical. Sorry to be another "Anon" poster, but good heavens, I don't want another online name/pw to remember! So now that I've cleared that up, let me say that I appreciate your honesty about the challenges of raising two small children. So many blogs only post the rosy, picture perfect stuff. C'mon! That's not reality! The reality is it's HARD. Don't let these type of posters get you down (and something tells me you are the type that won't be affected by such silly comments).
Post a Comment