Dishwashers

A few weeks ago, our dishwasher began making a funny noise. It made sort of a weird grinding sound when the pump would run. It was hard to distinguish from all of the other racket normally made by this particular machine, so I wasn't sure there was anything really wrong.

The sound had been getting louder, and then the other night, Erin informed me that the washer had neglected to drain at the end of the rinse cycle. I went over, twisted the giant crank dial on the front around to the end of the rinse cycle again, and it drained just fine. I did this a few times, and it drained successfully each time. Weird.

Last night, it neglected to drain yet again. Stupid washer. Only this time, when I turned the crank, it continued to stay stuck in the dry cycle. Argh. We've hated this thing from day one, and now that we've broken virtually every tine off both racks, perhaps it's time to move on.

But given that my wife is no longer interested in paying for things like groceries or appliances, I decided to take one last look at it before setting it ablaze. I disconnected the water line and drain, pulled the washer out in the middle of the kitchen and discovered a puddle of water underneath it (and no, it was not from me disconnecting things. It was wet before I started). That was it. I kicked the washer multiple times and told it that no self-respecting washer pees itself. I then moved it into the garage and began shopping for a washer.

What I've discovered over the last 24 hours of doing research is that there are a bunch of different washer manufacturers with lots of different features, but the only one I care about is how much racket the thing makes while it's washing. (Well, that and getting rid of the giant turn knob on the front.)

I don't care if it has a disinfecting cycle that uses molten lava to heat the water to 2000 degrees before washing. I don't care if it uses purified lamb's breath to do the drying. I don't even really care if it takes four hours to do the dishes, as long as it does it without interrupting whatever I've received that night from Netflix.

So today a new Whirlpool dishwasher is being delivered. It's supposed to be whisper quiet so that I'm not distracted from whichever of my kids is screaming while it's running. I couldn't be happier.

And best of all, apparently it'll wash dishes.