Things I Learned At EPCOT

1. Apple Computer provided the "next great innovation" in 1976 with the creation of the Apple I computer. This achievement followed neatly in line with the discovery of fire, the creation of the Phonetic alphabet, and the development of the printing press...at least according to the "Spaceship Earth" ride. I suspect that Steve Jobs is also lobbying to have the iPad as the next achievement shown on the ride.

2. Simulated hang gliding makes my mother-in-law wet herself. "But Deb, it's just a giant screen showing a movie of you hang gliding. We're only a few feet off the floor!" Some people are more susceptible to "simulations" than others.

3. Foreign ladies are very, VERY proud of their natural gifts. I'll say no more.

4. "Magnetic strip down and to the right" apparently means you should continue to try to insert your ticket in the same orientation at least 100 times (mostly with the magnetic strip on the left) before screaming about how broken the machine is and calling for an EPCOT employee to help you.

5. "International Food and Wine Festival" == "Disney finally provides enough alcohol and spicy food to make seeing grown adults trade pins with six year old children tolerable."

6. You can present hydroponics to a toddler, and he will think it's the coolest thing since the iPad, as long as it is presented using a boat on a track and animatronic scientists.

7. Not even cute little mouse ears can overcome the fact that you have a tattoo of a butterfly with a dagger through it on the center of your back.

8. There needs to be a FastPass for the French bakery which allows me to get there when it opens and have them pour the cream from the cream puffs directly into my mouth via a garden hose.

9. It's a good bet that the handful of people milling around the "Oh Canada!" exhibit in the World Showcase are, indeed, Canadian.

10. And finally, there were no mentions of government bailouts surrounding the GM exhibits at Test Track. But somehow, a Kia version of the same ride just wouldn't feel the same.