The Name Game

Yesterday was tough stuff. But, it ended well, and I think that's a good thing. Our birthmom is young (16) and shy, and it's been hard to kind of crack her shell, but I think I was able to do it last night as we sat around in her room watching TV and laughing. We talked about everything: from what I love about Bret (a long list) to foods I don't like (a short list).

And, then, she said it: Can we talk about the name thing? We had yet to name the baby as there has been some resistance. She admitted that she hated the name Naomi. And she said that while she thought it was special to have her first name as the baby's middle name, she didn't like that either.

Now, right now, that baby is her baby. She could name it the craziest of names because it is her choice. And, it's our prerogative to change it later at finalization if we want. But, here's the tricky part: we'd rather not have to change the name. Because, at the end of the day, our relationship with our birthmom is super important to us. And that's the beauty of domestic adoptions.

With Grant's adoption, his birthmom was a little older, a little less concerned about the name, a little more aware of the "end game," so to speak. But our birthmom REALLY cares about the name. It has been her biggest issue all along, and for months we have been dancing around the fact that she didn't like our selection.

And, to be honest, I was having some reservations about it myself. I LOVE the name Naomi. LOVE IT. But, every time I looked at that sweet baby, I'd think, "Is that right?" And, I never had those questions with Grant and Grace.

So, here it is the day we get discharged, and it will be--by all accounts--a hard day. It will be one of the most emotional days of our lives and for our birthmom as well. And, while we still don't have a name, we are getting really close. And, the birthmom is trying so hard to find one that works for all of us, as opposed to some of the more "unique" ones she had decided on long ago.

And, at the end of the day, what does it really matter? We're getting the greatest of gifts from this young girl, a girl we have come to love.

I'm so grateful for all my kids birth parents and foster parents. I'm thankful that they braved the hard road of pregnancy, filled with uncertainty. I'm thankful beyond measure that I get awesome responsibility and privilege to raise their children. These kids are twiced-loved, and their birth parents are heroic to me.

So, avid fan base (I know there is a least a grandparent or two out there), we'll let you know the whole new name soon...