Adoption News and Thoughts

Adoption is a crazy world.  It doesn't matter if you decide to adopt domestically or internationally; it doesn't matter if your process is carved in stone or a complete roller coaster, adoption is a beast unto itself.

For example, adoption is always a choice.  No one in the world of adoption accidentally ends up in line.  There are no birth control malfunctions.  Adoption, for adoptive parents, is a choice.

For many people, adoption is a scary choice.  These people are usually grossly misinformed.  There are plenty of avenues in adoption--both domestic and international--where the paths are wide and marked in neon.  You pretty much know what you're going to get--or strangely enough, choose what (read: whom) you're going to get.

If and when Bret and I return to China for another child, the path will be wide.  It won't be easy, as anyone who has filled out the paperwork for China will tell you, but it will be expected.  But, even then, you're faced with the daunting challenge (the "God, I could really use some wisdom now" challenge) of deciding what type of special need is right for your family, which in a weird way means saying "no" to certain children.  That's a strange moment, but it is still a moment that makes you keenly aware you are just one person looking for one child.  And, you have to wait, which is hard.

So, yeah, adoption is a strange thing.  It's a beautiful thing, torn right out of the pages of scripture.  For me, nothing has opened my eyes more to the amazing grace of God than adoption.  I understand what it means to be a child of God at a new level.  I understand what it means to be grafted in to a family.

And, as we wait for baby #3, we are keenly aware--more so with this adoption than ever before--that God has the right child for us.   Losing Nadia was more painful than I could have imagined--still is.  I think about her every. single. day.  But, I know that God has a plan.  He has to... he just does.

So, as we wait (baby boy is due on April 24), we wait cautiously, keenly aware that we have chosen this path.  We didn't end up here by accident, and we aren't going to accidentally end up with a child.  And there's a lot of relief, even amid all the chaos and unknown, that I don't have to control this outcome.  A deep sigh to that!