Belt

Yesterday morning after a delightful workout, I discovered while getting dressed and ready to head to work that I'd neglected to put my belt in my gym bag.  Given my slender physique, I knew that my pants would have difficulty staying up all day without a belt (plus I felt like I might be mistaken for a leftover Gen-Con'er who couldn't find his way home) so I decided to make a quick stop at Walmart to grab a belt.

I quickly found the belts display, selected a "style," and went to put on my belt.  Unfortunately with new belts, you can sort of hold them up to your waist and see if it basically fits, but a plastic clasp prevents you from actually putting the belt on.  But I was determined to wear the thing out of the store, so I headed to housewares to see if I could find some kitchen shears or a butcher knife to slice off the clasp.

What I discovered is that you can't just go pickup a knife and start slashing at Walmart.  I first found this out when I grabbed a knife out of a display butcher block, only to find the whole block and knives were fused together.  All of the shears were similarly unusable because they were wrapped or tied in one way or another.  I considered simply buying a cheap set, but I thought buying a a belt and a knife made me look a little too "guy on his way to take a hostage," so I headed over to office supplies.

After some careful rummaging, I found that I could use a staple remover to chew the plastic tag off the belt.  I made short work of the clasp, and then I turned toward the back corner to put on the belt.

Just as I got the belt through my belt loops but not clasped, a 20-ish female employee came around the corner.  I turned instinctively to find myself staring at the lovely young lady with my belt hanging open.  I then did the one inadvisable thing in this situation (oh, as if there was only one) and spoke.

"Heh...this is sort of embarrassing."

She gave a sort of Elvis sneer, and I quickly started buckling my pants.  I paid for the belt and made my way out of Walmart with yet another individual who I hope never to see again in this life.