Backyard Fun

Nothing like spending money you shouldn't have to...

Here is the guy digging out our septic tank under the deck... ah, fixing someone else's mistakes=no fun!

People You Know

The other night, I ate too much spicy food, couldn't sleep, and laid awake thinking about people I know who are in prison. That's right -- the slammer.

Erin and I had a conversation over coffee the next morning about the murderers who've passed through my life. At first, she didn't believe me, but I was able to quickly locate details on the web regarding several cases from my childhood involving people I knew offing other people. Some using household appliances.

This also got me to thinking about my Great Uncle Emmett. We all thought Uncle Emmett lived in some pretty tough neighborhoods as a youth. We'd sit around at holidays, listening in rapt attention to his tales of people with nicknames like Bug Legs and Roughhead, occasionally accomplices in various punishable offenses. We'd laugh and laugh as he'd move from one story about a guy in a knife fight to another story about a guy getting buried alive. Then we'd stand up, stretch, and go for more ham loaf.

At the time, I thought Uncle Emmett either grew up across the street from a leaky chemical plant or he was off his freaking rocker. But now that I think about it, his stories don't seem so far fetched. In my own relatively safe suburban upbringing, I knew several felons. In one case, a guy we knew in high school, and occasionally scuffled with, ended up murdering his own mother. Take that, Bug Legs.

I don't know what any of this really means or what it says about my upbringing. But I do feel better knowing that I'll have my own supply of stories to build on at holidays when I'm 80, just after we've polished off our traditional holiday chicken fingers and a slice of pie.

Pregnancy

I don't know what women who have bio babies feel like before the big day. Is each twinge a possibility? Is there an insane need to get things in order? Do they pack their hospital bags again and again?

We are in a strange and stressful time. We have yet to move into our house (any day now), can't find the hardware to set up the crib (but did find the pack-n-play; any bets on if we ever set up the crib?), and every single phone call feels like "the one." We have our bags packed (mostly), childcare set up, and know every possible air, car and train route to Attleboro, MA.

Last night, Grace woke up having to use the restroom, and when I fell back into bed, I was wide awake (my least favorite thing at 3 am), and soon, my mind had raced beyond my suitcase and magazines I could pick up for the birthmom to willing the phone to ring. I literally tried good ol' mind control for at least ten minutes. But the phone didn't ring.

It rang a few times this morning, each of which brings hopeful runs to pick it up before the machine gets it. And each time, it was Bret, talking to me about septic tanks, gas lines and some other nonsense about the house. I told him: no more phone calls. Unless it's good news. And good news--at this point--is a baby.

We are over the moon to hold our little one, to meet our birthmom (finally) after weeks of phone calls and texts, and to begin life as a family of 5. Now, if only we could settle on a name...

Scared Stiff

Grant called me to his room last night, screaming that he was scared.

Mommy: Grant, what's wrong?
Grant: I am scared.
Mommy: Of what? Everything is fine.
Grant: I am afraid that my brain has been switched, and I think I have the wrong brain.

How do you comfort your scared, and potentially crazy, child?

Updates

1. Congrats go to Bret's sister and brother-in-law as they welcome beautiful Natalie Reese into the world. She is so beautiful. We got to see them for a bit at the hospital last night, and we were simply amazed at how alert little Natalie was. She was so small too! We're excited that baby #3 will have a cousin so close in age!

2. We've owned the new house for less than a week, and we are already seeing big improvements. We've taken up 80% of the nasty carpets, pulled down wallpaper, taken down all the window fixtures, painted two ceilings, painted two rooms, and unpacked a handful of boxes. Here is a before picture of one of the rooms; we'll get you some after pictures soon. We had hoped to put all of our extra money toward renovations inside the house, but it looks like we might have to walk around on cement and subfloor for a bit, as we are having to tackle more outside work than we had hoped! Nothing like having your septic tank under your deck! Argh.

3. Baby #3. We continue the countdown to baby 3 (less than 3 weeks). The relationship with the birthmom continues to go well, and we are so excited to be parents to this little girl. There are some small hiccups in the legal end of it all, which leaves us with a bit more risk than we'd like, but we are confidant that the birthmom is steady in her choice.

As far as names, we continue to narrow the list. We know the baby's middle name will be Sierra, as that is her birthmom's name. Sierra is a very beautiful name, but it isn't the easiest to match with a first name. Several names that were early forerunners are falling behind (I hate to say goodbye to Eve, but I think Bret has put the nail in the coffin on that one for now). If you have any ideas, don't hesitate.

We will pack our bags this weekend, as we expect a "get your butts to Massachusetts now" phone call at any point. Now, if only I could find a suitcase and some clothes (not to mention baby things) in all of this mess!

New House

Well, we just closed on the house this morning. Now, off to rip up the nasty carpets this afternoon. Let's keep our fingers crossed that there are more hardwoods than we think! We plan on providing pictures every step of the way, more for our lack of memory than anything else, but you're welcome to join us for our very own home makeover.

Table Saw

If you have a table saw we can borrow, please let us know. We need to tackle new wood floors in the next few weeks, and I'd rather borrow than buy. We'd need the table saw around the end of the month... and for a few weeks. It'll come back to you clean and with a dinner gift card attached :).

Let us know.

Grave Digger

Our latest free outing: The Grave Digger Experience (some monster truck thingy) complete with pictures, tatoos (they promised they were temporary, but Grant still has his) and much more. The next post we'll have to write about our almost free weekend getaway, complete with pictures from the National Museum of the Air Force.

Packing and Moving

Let me just say this: I HATE MOVING. I don't kind of dislike it. I don't think it kind of stinks. I hate it. It's a rung in hell in Dante's Inferno; I'm sure the translators just missed it.

We are close the end, and the proverbial light at the end of that blasted tunnel is starting to show itself. We'll be out of our house by tonight, and then, we'll have glorious bliss for 15 days until we close on the new house May 13, in which the whole cleaning, painting, moving cycle will begin again, but add to it the mounted pressure of putting in new floors, new bathrooms, a new kitchen, and dealing with what feels like miles of awful wood paneling (not a pessimist... just a realist).

Only to compound issues is the fact that the kids are sick and are expected to hang out in an empty house and watch me clean and pack for what amounts to hours a day. No furniture. No TV. Too rainy to go outside. Today I caught them playing--in an empty closet--with hangers and different parts of the vacuum. A kid has got to do what a kid has got to do.

Here are a few recent pics...

Coloring Easter Eggs

Swim lessons


Grace dressed for Easter Sunday. Grant and I stayed home to tend to Grant's fever.

Breakfast when you've packed all the bowls.

Baby #3: The Q&A edition

These are some of the questions we have received via the blog, email or calling.

Q: What nationality will the baby be?
A: I don't think most mothers of bio kids have to answer this one, but when you have an AA son and a Chinese daughter, this question makes a whole lot of sense. Well, the birthmom is biracial: a mix of black, hispanic and white. The birthdad (I think??) is full AA, so we should have one little miss cute stuff on our hands!

Q: Are you sticking with G names?
A: It was never our intention. We always knew Grace's name would be Grace, and when we adopted Grant, we had a short list of names we liked, and when we saw him, we were pretty convinced Grant was his name. Plus, it was the name his birthmom liked best (of the options we told her), so there it was. So, with baby #3, the doors are open, but we tend to lean now toward really traditional names. I can guarantee there will be no yuppie in our choice. Do you have any names you think we should consider?

Q: Is there an issue with the baby being born in Massachusetts versus Indiana?
A: We might be under MA law; we might not. In talking with our lawyer, it will really come down to if she has claimed to be a resident of MA or not. It'd be helpful to be under IN law, as we wouldn't have to worry about the hoop-work involved in inter-state adoptions, but when you've adopted from a foreign country, a little inter-state paperwork does not seem that bad! So, in the end, we'll have to wait for our lawyer to come up with those answers.

Q: Are you ready to deal with a little black girl's hair?
A: Oh, the drama associated with black hair! If you haven't rented Chris Rock's Good Hair, you should check it out. Thankfully, we have lots of people to help us navigate the road when the time comes, especially the baby's birthmom. Until then, I'm going with bell hooks.

Q: Will you be in the new house by then?
A: Let's hope so! We take possession May 13, and we hope to have the kids' rooms painted and floors cleaned up within the week, so it's looking good that baby girl will get to come home to her very own nursery.

Q: Aren't you freaked out to bring a newborn, just a few days old, home with you on an airplane?
A: This might freak out most moms. But, a few hours on a plane with a kid does not scare mothers who have adopted internationally. Seventeen hours home with Grace... I think I can take a few hours.

Okay, are there more?

Baby #3

In the world of adoption, very little is certain. A birthmom could change her mind. A birthfather could enter the picture. But, the one thing that is absolutely certain is how excited we are to have another baby.

So, it's with equal measure hope and caution that we enter into adoption #3. Last night, we received a call from the agency saying that we had been selected by a birthmom. There were tears (of joy), head scratching (at the timing!!--we are in the middle of a move, after all), and lots of talk from the kids about what we should name the new baby.

It has been about a month since we were "active," about the same time it took in Grant's adoption. The baby is due June 2, and if all works out, we will be traveling to Massachusetts to bring the baby home (the birthmom lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana, but she's going to have the baby out east--long story). I got the opportunity to talk to the birthmom's mom (grandma to baby) last night, and we talked for hours. The conversation came so easily, was so full of love and laughter and hope. It simply couldn't have gone better.

We have yet to talk to the birthmom, and the first time we meet her will be in the hospital, most likely after birth. That's not the easiest of transitions for her, I'm sure, but we are confidant that God's hand is orchestrating these events, and therefore, can attend to her heart even now.

So, yeah, it's pretty exciting. Grant and Grace are very excited, talking INCESSANTLY about feeding and changing and being big siblings. It's very cute. It's hard to imagine that come summer we might very well be a family of five!

Oh, and it's a girl. Small detail.

Potential Baby #3 News...

Stay tuned...

Moving

Renters found. Movers come in a week.

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such nice people come to visit...

Last night, Erin leaned over and said "You know, I sure hope neither of us gets dementia or Alzheimer's as we get older."

All obvious reasoning aside, I asked "Why?"

And she replied, "Because we're going to be so confused about the black guy and the Chinese lady that keep coming around."

So true...so true...

Swim Lessons

Last year at this time, we started Grant in swim lessons. The one session we signed him up for lasted eight days. He cried for seven of the eight days (in his defense, the water was freezing!).

Then, in the fall, we did another eight day session. He cried the first day.

So, with the gradual commencement of spring, we opted to sign both kids up for swim lessons, but seeing how the two week sessions didn't provide much gain in Grant's swimming skill, we decided to sign them up for six consecutive weeks of lessons (oh, Mommy... what were you thinkin'?).

Grace loves the water, and so I was excited to see how she would do, and I was not surprised. She was moved up to Grant's class, and it's so cute to see her floating on her back and diving for pennies (but she's in a four-year-old class, so her feet don't even touch the water when she sits on the edge and is told to kick!). On the first day of class, I was reminded how far our little girl has come. She walked up to the person checking them in, and said, "My name is Grace, and this is my brother." She walked away from me without even looking back...

And then, in the water, she waves at me and loves being near Grant (they really are the best of friends; I am so thankful they are so close in age), but she's so confidant, so completely comfortable and secure. She still likes to be independent, but she never freaks out anymore when I tell her "no" or or when she doesn't get to do something on her 0wn. She's so sweet, so funny, so smart.

The attachment road was harder than I had expected, but almost two years into having Grace home, and it is all a distant, distant memory.

As I watched them clutching the wall the other day, neither crying, I was amazed. My two beautiful kids are growing up so quickly, and I'm so thankful that I get to watch every single step.

No Buttons

I finally caved.

After becoming the last holdout that I know (with the exception of my wife), I finally broke down and bought a "smart phone." It's only $25/month, so I convinced myself that I would be OK spending that for the convenience of staying in touch with work while traveling.

So I called "Bob" (who sounded vaguely like his name should have an "oo" appended to the end of it) to get the phone authorized the other night, and he told me that I needed to "dial ##8822#" to get activated. I looked down at the flat lump of plastic in my hand and calmly replied, "How do I do that? There are no buttons. Or numbers."

The rep acted a little stunned and walked me through how to get to a keypad on my new touchscreen phone. I have never felt so out of touch. I suddenly flashed back to images of my grandfather, madly mashing the buttons on his TV remote as though pressing them harder would make the TV work more to his liking.

In the end, I'm OK with it though. I don't mind that I'm a little bit out of sync. I never want my kids to remember staring at the top of my head while I played with my phone, so if that means that I'm always a couple of generations behind in gadget world, so be it.

Goodbye Naps

I can hardly believe that this day is here: Grant has dropped his afternoon nap! I thought he would make it all the way until he walked into elementary school, but alas, it's not to be. I still make him lie down for an hour (listening to music, books on cd, etc), which seems to refuel his tanks, and I am loving the extra one-on-one time we get in the afternoon while Grace sleeps. He dropped his nap all at once; there's nothing "gradual" about Grant! He's going to sleep earlier now, and he often sleeps to about 8:30, so he's still getting plenty of sleep.

It's just another indicator that I've got a full fledged little boy on my hands, one who is rocketing toward full kid-dom without looking back. Queue: tears.

Fish in an Igloo

A few weeks ago, I made an aborted trip to Jackson, Mississippi. It snowed. A lot. In Mississippi. Prior to that trip, I asked our good friend Georgette for some restaurant recommendations, knowing that she was a Jackson native. She passed along a few ideas...a Japanese steakhouse here, some barbeque there, and an igloo that serves fish.

A few weeks after that, I actually made a trip to Jackson, but I wasn't in town for my nightly feeding. So when I had to come back down here this week, I decided to revisit Georgette's list, focusing mainly on the fish igloo.

I punched in the location on the GPS, drove 20 minutes, and then lo and behold, I was staring at an igloo on the side of the road, announcing itself as Jerry's Catfish House. What the?

I figured the igloo had to have a hook of some kind. Was the catfish "ice breaded?" Was the iced tea "cold as an igloo?" Nope. Jerry just decided to build his restaurant so that it looked like one of those DPW salt/sand storage facilities you see along the highway.

I went inside and got seated. The menu had a plethora of options that mostly looked like "catfish and sides." I ordered the all you can eat catfish, and within 90 seconds, I was eating.

The waitress brought me about 2 pounds of fish, 20 hushpuppies, a bowl of coleslaw, and a basket of greasy french fries. It was heavenly. The breading on the catfish was nice and light, leaving plenty of internal storage for the pound of hushpuppies.

About 10 minutes later, the waitress asked if I needed more fish. I laughed out loud and said, "Uh...no." in much the same way that I suspect Jonah did while toweling off on the beach. She smiled, gave me my bill, and I was on my way.

So Georgette, your fish-gloo was a hit. Next time I'm down here, I'll be sure to checkout another of your Mississippi fine dining establishments.

Renting our House

It looks like we might try to take the plunge into landlordville. We know it is plagued with all kinds of pitfalls, but we are hopeful that we can find great tenants.

If you know anyone who would like to rent a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath house in Brownsburg, send them our way. If they turn out to work, we'll reward you with a referral of $300.

Hey, it's worth a try.

Glorious Spring

So, life's pretty busy right now. We're up to our ears in lenders, home inspections, and such. We spend every available minute trying to figure out what to do with the new house (oh, the work that needs to be done!), the new land (did we mention it is 3.5 acres with woods and a creek?), and the soon to be old house (sell or rent?). So, thankfully, the weather has been nice enough to get out, which means that our house isn't destroyed, Grant and Grace are generally over their winter grumps, and we can put them in bed completely spent at the end of the day.

Thank goodness we finished all the adoption paperwork before we started all the house paperwork!!