Ouch

I jumped out of bed this morning with a list of projects for the day. I put in my contacts, threw on some clothes, and walked into the office where our computer hums quietly day and night.

As I walked in, I noticed that the computer wasn't really humming. It was more or less groaning, much as one might do if they'd eaten some bad tuna. GRRR...grrr...GRRRR...grr... Erin noted that it had been doing this for a while, so I decided that it would become my first chore of the day to repair my poor PC.

After dragging the thing out from under the desk, disconnecting the mere 75 cables attached to it, and opening it up, I discovered the offending fan that was going out. It wasn't a particularly necessary component, so I disconnected it. I also decided to clean the rest of the box out, removing several years of dust.

I was seated on the floor of the office with the computer open in front of me. At one point, I reached across the machine and tried to pull up on a component on the far side. As I did this, I had what felt like a bolt of lightning shoot across the small of my back. I yelled (some might say, "Screamed like a small child") and fell over on my side and then my back. I lay there moaning, at which point Erin came running up the stairs.

When she arrived, she immediately looked disappointed. "I thought you'd cut your arm off or been electrocuted."

Sorry to disappoint you, dear. Immobilization isn't enough to warrant my cries?

I've had back problems for the last 15 years, but today was something special. It took me an hour to get off the floor of the office. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't stand, I couldn't move. At one point there was discussion of implementing a "pee jar."

Luckily, after a fist full of medication, I was able to move myself over the course of 10 minutes into my recliner in the bedroom. A couple of hours passed, and I was able to slowly walk around the house and do basic things. I told Erin, and this is no exaggeration, that other than the pain I experienced when I broke my arm in the infamous horseback riding incident, the first fifteen minutes this morning was the most excruciating pain I'd ever been in.

To make matters worse, the doctor keeps telling me to strengthen my "core" to make these episodes less likely. Apparently "strengthen," in medical terms, does not mean "fill to capacity frequently," which is more or less how I treat my "core." Erin angrily informed me this afternoon that I needed to start getting in shape. Alas, I think she may be right. I'd better eat like I just escaped from prison tonight...