There was a point when Grace seemed so close. When we started our journey to her, she seemed just a few months away. Then, she seemed so far away, years and years away. But now, the tide is turning again.
I've been thinking about Grace non-stop lately. I'm sure it's because of the Olympics and all those cute Chinese girls running around and singing. Or, maybe it's because our friends Matt and Amy just birthed a little baby named Grace, such a bundle of love. But, I like to think it's because Grace has been born, that there is some connection between mother and daughter that transcends place and time.
The reality of her birth has created a whole new wave of unexpected emotions. It's not that we are "for sure" that she's been born. Or, for that matter, that we even know who "she" is. We're just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and with that light, comes the awareness that our daughter is going to be born without us...
And it makes me weep. I break into tears constantly. I cry at the thought that some brave woman decided to birth a baby, break the law in giving her up, all in hopes that her daughter would have a chance at a happy and a healthy life. There were a lot of other options for that woman to take, but she decided on the brave and loving path.
But, then, I cry at the thought that my daughter, my sweet baby girl, is now alone in this world. Or, I cry at the thought that she is scared and alone and in an orphanage... often left to herself... or, that when my baby cries, the woman who attends to her doesn't love her like I do, doesn't dream of bringing her home, doesn't say prayers over her from half way across the world.
In some ways, Grace seems forever away. In other ways, we know that 2009 is our year. I can't wait to bring Grace home. I can't wait to introduce Grant to his new sister. I can't wait to watch him learn to love her with his big, soft toddler heart.
As we wait these last few months, please pray for baby Grace. I am so thankful that God does not leave us alone in our distress, and I know that he is attending her heart even now.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
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3 comments:
Erin,
You have been on my mind so much lately. I am sure because of the Olympics. I think of your oh so long pregnancy. I pray and hope for your day to come quickly when you can hold your precious girl in your arms and kiss her for the first time. I watch and wait patiently for your Grace updates on here in hopes that "today" will be the day!! I am praying for you in this time of suffering. It has got to be so gut wrenching. Thank you for holding life at such great value. I would love to see you soon!
Love Always,
Lisa
Erin - you guys are such awesome parents to Grant as you will be to little Grace! There is such a tear between faith and waiting . . .I truly am beginning to understand that. I am praying for all of you!
Erin, Grace is always in our prayers. I know how hard the waiting is........I hope you get to meet her soon.
Heidi
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