Tuesday, August 18, 2009

How the Other Half Lives--The Final Chapter Home



After we left Guangzhou (saying goodbye to all our travel buddies (shout out to my original email gals!), but most sadly, Andy and Madeline Zotti--we love you guys!), we headed to Hong Kong via train. This train was much better than our first China train experience... and shorter too, clocking in at two hours. We headed to the Intercontinental Hotel. It was unbelievable. It has the best possible view of Hong Kong island. The man checking us in was absolutely fascinated that we had adopted two children (he kept shaking Bret's hand and calling him a good person), so he upgraded us to the nicest room I have ever seen (we had our own freakin' butler). It was free (Bret scored some deal using hotel points from work trips). It had a restaurant with the best food I have ever tasted (it might just be that I hadn't had a raw piece of vegetable in a long, long time, so that cob salad was a winner). It was one step closer to home.

But, as we were eating dinner overlooking Hong Kong island (the best skyline ever), I really started to lose it. I looked at Grace and realized that it is going to be a long, long time before she steps back on Chinese soil, and she'll never again step on as a Chinese citizen. I know some people think Grace is the "lucky" one, as she's going to have opportunities in the United States that she'll most likely never have had in China. And while that is partly true, she also has already given up so much. She's given up parents and foster parents, her home and her town. And as I looked out over Hong Kong, I knew she was giving up a country. And no matter how hard we try to connect her to her Chinese roots, no matter how many Chinese New Years we celebrate, I knew--at that moment--that she was given up more than most 14-month-olds. I finally pulled it together, but I will remember that moment, that night, almost more than any other single memory in China (save the moment we received Grace), as the moment that summed it all up: all the juxtapositions I had felt about China and Grace, all the longing to be home and sadness to leave, all the years of waiting.

But, it didn't last long, as the food came. Bret ordered a 30 dollar cheeseburger and declared it "steak on a bun." Desserts came. The bill came (ouch), and we headed upstairs to our suite for a four hour sleep. Then, at 5 am, we headed out the door to the Hong Kong airport (which does have a Starbucks, thank you). We boarded our first of three flights, and we headed upstairs to first class. We had planned on flying coach with three seats home, but it was just a little more expensive (with all of Bret's frequent flyer miles) for us to fly first class with two seats home. First class=winner. I have flown first class once, and it was a short flight from Portland, Oregon to Sacramento, CA. So, I was not prepared for the filet mignon, the fully reclining and massaging seats or the personalized service. But let me tell you, it was a blessing beyond blessing. While I didn't sleep much, Grace slept for about 13 hours of our 16 hours of flying. It was amazing. I was so thankful that while I came home tired, I didn't come home frazzled.

Bedhead on the Plane

We came home to the best moment of my life: holding Grace and Grant together. There are no words to describe how much I missed that boy, and seeing him at the airport, holding those flowers for me, running to meet me... it was pure joy.

We came home to immediate family, handed out some presents, ate some Arby's and cake, and crashed. After one bad day, we're pretty much back in the swing of things. Grace has always slept through the night (hello, that's a winner!), and she's proving to be a champion sleeper at home. It's obvious she thinks she lives in a Toys R Us, as she crawls around at frantic pace picking up every toy in sight. She plays well on her own and well with adults. She's not too sure about Grant. He likes to be right in her face, so I think she feels pretty smothered. In addition, he says he loves her so much in one breath, but he yanks toys out of her grasp as quickly as possible the next second. He is having a very hard time (even waking up screaming at night). We are praying for wisdom, as we don't always know what to correct. We want to give him some slack, as this is a hard time, but we want him to obey as expected. I never had siblings in the house while growing up, so I don't really know what is "normal" sibling behavior to ignore and what needs to be changed. Yikes, I'm in trouble.

So, now, we're settling in and trying to find our new routine (yep, we're a scheduled family). Grant starts his "school" (one morning a week... does that count as school?) next week, which I think will be good. And, I'm home with Grace until October, so we'll get this all ironed out. If you have any advice on how to manage sibling rivalry, make sure you let me know.

Grace did, however, begin to dole out kisses all on her own, and Grant was her first recipient. So, that's a good sign, right?
Happy Girl

3 comments:

Madeline & Andy said...

xoxo & tears from the weepy one :) So glad to hear you are feelin better! I'm emailing my phone# to you TODAY my friend, I've got sibling rivalry down pat, LOL!

Kimberly Bowe said...

Welcome home. Glad you are feeling better.

You hit the sacrifice right on the button. My husband came to America 10 - almost 11- years ago and still talks about "the mother country", not only because his mother is there, but everything he has ever known. Even after all these years, I still ache a bit for what he sacrificed for us to live in the US.

Remember y'all had two weeks getting to know Grace. Grant and Grace are getting to know each other. Best wishes as you guide them though that.

Kimberly
waiting for TA

Katherine said...

Welcome to my world! Siblings are the best and the toughest even when they are 7 and 9 - so don't expect it to get a lot better. One minute they are fighting and the next they love each other to pieces! I think it is just the sibling thing!