Brain Damage

I am becoming increasingly convinced that perhaps our children have brain damage. I think Bill Cosby came to this same conclusion about his own kids years ago, and now that I'm a parent, I understand his logic.

Grace has been with us a fairly short amount of time, so we haven't gotten to see the full extent of her issues. One of her favorite things to do is sit on the floor in front of my recliner, screaming her cute little head off while flailing her arms upward in my general direction.

In an effort to appease her, I will reach down, pick her up, and place her in my lap. There is a five second moment of peace, after which she always begins screaming her head off again for me to put her back on the floor. This process will repeat itself until my mind (and ears) have taken leave.

Since Grant is now approaching three years old, I have a fuller picture of his brain damage. We see it every day. Yesterday, shortly after I scolded him for not being nice to his sister, I heard the words, "You're not gonna like this" come from the other room, uttered by his very lips. This was followed by a scream.

Grant is also incapable of hiding anything from us at this stage of life, something I know we'll miss once he gets it figured out. The problem is that now it seems he thinks he's always supposed to confess, even if the issue at hand is not his fault.

Last night we worked the toddler room at our church (or "new member payback" as I call it), and Grant got into a tussle with another boy over ownership of a highly valuable and collectible sticker. The other little boy was holding the sticker, and Grant was stating that he wanted the sticker. I asked Grant if the sticker had originally belonged to the other boy, and he replied "Yes." I then explained in long, drawn out parental detail that he couldn't simply take stickers from the other kids.

After Grant had proffered his apology and been adequately shamed, Erin walked over and informed me that the sticker had originally been Grant's, and she didn't understand why he had stated otherwise. I issued an order for Grant to march over and strike the other child with enough force to ensure that he could retrieve his sticker, and we all went on our way. But I have no clue as to why Grant didn't stand up for himself.

And finally, this weekend we had the ultimate indication of Grant's brain damage. A few hours after he went to bed, we heard Grant crying for us to come into his room. Erin headed in there and quickly called me from my post (i.e. sleep). Grant was sitting in the middle of his bed with his sleeper unzipped and gathered at his ankles, right alongside his underpants.

In front of him was a large wet spot on the bed, and a small, almost imperceptible piece of poo. Grant pointed at the poo and informed us that it needed to be removed. Erin began this process and noted that his sleeper was completely dry, thus indicating that the boy had stripped down to his socks, and then peed and dropped a nugget on his sheets.

Why would a child do this? We asked him, and he had no answer other than to restate that it needed cleaning up. He hadn't wet the bed ever before, and he obviously was in no dire straits since he was able to disrobe prior to creating the mess. It defies explanation.

In the end after further questioning, Grant stated simply that "he just wanted us to come to his room."

In the future, can't you just scream like your sister does?